The City's No 1 oil analyst Zac "The Knife" Phillips of SP Angel wants a board room cull at Saffron Energy (SRON). He is at his waspish best in a note released after today's news from Italy. I can't see that he is rating the shares as a buy. Over to "the knife" who opines:

I have been sent the first report on Ariadne Capital Limited prepared by the Administrator Leonard Curtis and sent to creditors yesterday. They will be whistling and will not get a cent back. There is no cash, no sales pipeline and only one debt of £36,000 which the Administrator hopes to collect. A company that claimed net assets of £3,858,688 as at 31 December 2016 is set to report a deficiency of £6,762,604 according to Leonard Curtis. Actually it will be worse.

Photonstar LED (PSL) has announced what it argues is “a further step towards PhotonStar's strategy of transforming the group into a software and services business, focused on lighting and building management as a service”, together with a Trading Update…

Hello, Share Chillers. We have two reasons the Footsie is flat at the mo. One is the usual January post-Christmas party hang-over. Shares rose fast just before the 25th in a rosy cloud of Yuletide optimism. But, as nearly always happens, January produces a headache.

On 7 December 2017 Versarien (VRS) announced that its CEO Neil Rickets had exercised 250,000 options at 12.25p - options that still have 5 years left to run. On 5 January the company casually announced that he had sold the shares on 4 January at 61.5p. Hang on Neil mate...

A 5th December announcement from contact centre payment technology company PCI-PAL (PCIP) included that it “has won a further major reseller contract and two new UK local Government contracts” and “the level of enquiries looks set to accelerate demand for our services faster than anticipated”. From 51.5p before that announcement, the shares went on to exceed 78p this month and closed yesterday at 71.5p. Now a Placing to raise £4.95m…

Poor Julie Meyer. The Times this morning picked up on her increasingly bizarre attacks on ex employees, suppliers owed money and me on LinkedIn "Wow . . . just all I can say is freaking Wow". Indeed Julie. I pointed out to Julie's lawyer that her post on me was defamatory and he said he'd advised her to take it down but, hey ho, it stays up. Anyone who thinks citing the folks who send me death threats, shit in the post and more, because I was exposing the £3 billion Quindell fraud, as witnesses for their side is, I put it to you, keeping strange bedfellows.

Buried in this podcast is a quiz question - in what respect is my son Joshua ( aged 16 months) ahead of more than a third of millennials. The answer is at the end of the podcast. I deal again with a woman who thinks citing folks who send death threats to investigate journalists ( i.e. me) gives her a basis for smearing me. I refer of course to Julie Meyer, a woman branded borderline hysterical by a Judge  a few years ago.  I discuss the placing by Fishing Republic (FISH) and its accompanying statement. It is talking carp. Is that a deliberate typo? I look at Filtronic (FTC), have news on Milestone (MSG) it does not want you hearing and comment on Scancell (SCLP) in a way that may annoy its long suffering shareholder Nigel Somerville. Finally I have an uber spivvy share trip for you all. 

OneView Group (ONEV) “is pleased to announce that it has commenced a project with the Australian Postal Corporation (Australia Post)”, with CEO Stuart Mitchell adding “we have been engaged in a vendor evaluation process with Australia Post for over twelve months and are delighted to have been selected for this sole source contract”. Certainly sounds good, what’s the detail?...

I was a bit worried the other day to read that the humble sandwich might be one of the biggest contributors to global warming...but as I had walked to the supermarket to buy my latest sliced bread offering I felt sufficiently virtuous to keep on eating. I cannot believe that too many of Greencore's (GNC) customers at multiple supermarkets and convenience stores are too fussed either judging by the tone of today's trading update.

Tom Winnifrith noted in a weekend bearcast that he was very bullish on Concepta (CPT) HERE. He also discussed Optibiotix (OPTI), Falanx (FLX) and others in the same podcast. For the avoidance of doubt, he was bullish on them too! Concepta has now served up good news to start to justify Tom's faith.

What will Father Christmas be putting in the stockings of the writers of ShareProphets, nine share tips, plus what sexism at the BBC

This question was asked in the Parliament of Malta last week and it seems that the Maltese Old Bill is now taking action. I cannot, for the life of me, think to whom they refer and whose collar appears to be on the verge of being felt. With God's will I guess you will figure it out.

The company with the exclusive right for, and to sub-franchise, Domino's Pizza stores in Poland, DP Poland (DPP) has updated including “2017 delivered significant growth in system sales, through a combination of robust like-for-likes and 19 store openings”. With I having previously noted interims particularly emphasise EBITDA & “variable profit”. Wonder why?, what’s the latest detail?...

Hello, Share Chinners. As mentioned by moi before on this tantalising website, the rich are getting richer while the poor go the other way. This is a crazy injustice to which politicians should put up their hands. But ordinary folk like us cannot reverse the trend, so we might as well make some share money from the crazy situation.

Yes indeed it is THAT Bruno Brooks, the one who was shagging Anthea Turner, etc, etc. who runs AIM uber dog Immedia (IME). I explain why its RNS today is the biggest F*ck of all. I also explain why no article on Julie Meyer today - I've been too busy cooking and serving poisonous pizza NOT! Then I look at Defenx (DFX) in some detail before having a butchers at another Neil Woodford dog Utilitywise (UTW).

Delisted from the junior Irish market but still trading on AIM, Conroy Gold and Natural Resources (CGNR) has put out a business update. The ShareProphets RNS Translation Service, having already had a field day on Telit this morning, is on a roll (original in bold)….

A previous Trading Update from cyber-security software company Defenx (DFX) was it going from “satisfied” with trading less than a month ago… now “materially below” profit warning. There’s now another Trading Update…

Yesterday Telit (TCM) got tame journalist Ben Harrington to leak that it had received bids for its only asset of value its auto division. That has forced a statement which is, of course, all spin. Here is the ShareProphets translation service. Our comments are in bold.

Having less than two weeks ago stated that it “expects to complete its year-end audit process in respect of FY17 and announce its final results by 31 January 2018”, today Woodford-backed dog Utilitywise (UTW) has announced “the directors have now concluded that the company will not be able to publish its annual audited accounts for the year ended 31 July 2017 by 31 January 2018”. Cue share suspension…