Franco Manca pizza and The Real Greek eastern Mediterranean restaurants group Fulham Shore (FUL) has updated on trading and announced a placing… and the shares are currently at 6.75p, more than 10% higher…

The note I refer to is from Align on Bluebird Merchant Ventures (BMV). I agree the shares are cheap. I own some! But are they as cheap as the note suggests? Nope. It is bonkers. I discuss its author and other peak cycle bonkers notes etched in my brain. I look at R4E (R4E) and why you should not follow Fraud. Then at the accounts from troubled broker Novum which came out yesterday. They are truly shocking and get a full debagging from me. I comment on Hammerson (HMSO) and illusory asset values and on Simec Atlantic (SAE) and – en passant – Hurricane Energy (HUR).

The last time i had an article to write on Zenith Energy (ZEN) I made the mistake of contacting the company via a PR and was bullied and harassed as a result. So this time as I receive, via Winnileaks, a document which appears to show that it lost its only real asset, Tilapia in the Republic of the Congo, on June 4th, I just publish it in full. I have asked my daughter Olaf to translate it for me which – through her usual hangover – she did over the phone and it reads appallingly for Zenith. It looks kosher to me so there are only three scenarios here:

Simec Atlantis Energy (SAE) finally fessed up on its need for cash, announcing an emergency bailout placing today. The results have been issued as unaudited as the company needs the cash to obtain an unqualified audit statement. All very predictable, as I did most recently here. So that justified Ouzo on my cornflakes, but the detail in the RNS statements today rings even more alarm bells for me related to the fuel supply for Uskmouth Power – the claimed flagship project in the portfolio.

Early this year we showed the Shorted AIM shares at the start of 2020. How’s the performance as at the end of July? (those in bold remain from 2019)…

Forget reading the multi-part regulatory news disclosures from insurance behemoth Aviva (AV.) today, just click on the webcast re-run and listen to the first fifteen or twenty minutes presentation by the company’s new CEO Amanda Blanc. It has been a long time since I was so impressed by the initial clarity of expression in a large cap corporate turnaround plan…

AIM-listed jam-tomorrow, sometime, never investment company Tern (TERN) has announced a contract for principal investee Device Authority. Whoopiedoo – bring out the champagne…….or not.

Broker JubCap, whose financial woes we exposed here, is now in administration. It is an ex broker and not one that the world will miss. So who is next? Well, all the signs are that Novum, the bucket shop which employs king spiv Jon Bellis and has Gavin Burnell of Globo infamy working there even though he is not authorised to do so by the FCA, is in the merde. I suggested 66 days ago that its financials were so bad that the FCA needed to have a look and, for once, it seems the chocolate teapots have done more than that, acting on what I exposed. I count this as a win for the Sheriff so it’s ouzos all round at the Greek Hovel today.  But how is Novum in such a mess?

One of the joys of writing for this very fine website is the intelligence of the readership. And that brings me to Pierotlunaire (who I’m sure won’t mind having his tummy tickled!) who asks, in relation to Egyptian gold miner Centamin (CEY) which offered up storming interims on Tuesday: What’s the fundamental basis for your 250p target? Apart from Jefferies at 240p, most brokers come up with less than 200p (although they may update following these results). There’s no point following a tip based on figures plucked from the air, even if the tip is as successful as my tip on Centamin! So it is a very good question.

Hello Share Painters. I recently told the sad tale of how a venture investment company IP Group (IPO) sold its 5% stake in Ceres Power (CWR) and helped cause a meltdown in the green power company’s share price. Today I want to look at why Ceres’s drop in value still looks a buying opportunity. And I’m aided in this task by a very positive outlook from Berenberg (the big German bank that is a joint broker to Ceres)…

San Leon Energy (SLE) is “delighted” as it “announces that it is investing US$15 million in Energy Link Infrastructure (Malta) Limited, the company which owns the Alternative Crude Oil Evacuation System project”…

Previously writing on cyber security group ECSC (ECSC), last year with the shares having fallen from above 77.5p to 67.5p I questioned “a solid base for ongoing growth” and concluded to avoid. Now a trading update for the first half of 2020 emphasising “Continued strong growth in recurring managed services revenues” and the shares at 65p, though that being up 4% on the update…

I end with a view from my office photo just to annoy Graham Neary. I also comment on the latest bonkers ideas from Boris about how to cripple the economy. Those are relevant as I discuss the assumptions made by Metro Bank (MTRO) and its Godawful results. Who is it trying to kid? It has certainly not thrown in the kitchen sink in terms of provisioning. There is far worse to come when the banking crisis really gets going. I discuss gold and ask those with a knowledge of cocaine to help Lucian out with a new valuation metric. I look at Centamin (CEY) and am not persuaded there is a new normal to justify a sub 4% prospective yield.

I said the other day that the gold market looked like it was ready for a correction. We’ve had a big run, everything is overbought etc etc – the gold market needs to correct, to blow away the froth. The problem has been that every time it looks as though a bit of selling will settle in, more bad data emerges and off we go upwards once again. Yesterday the Fed was effectively suggesting inflation is good and interest rates will stay put at zero, Nancy Pelosi was suggesting that $600 a week cheques would not disincentivise people from returning to work, the Democrats and Repulicans are apparently homing in on another stimulus package (funded by the Fed’s money printing machine) and apparently the Fed thinks that your average American will invest in US government bonds for ten years at an interest rate of 0.5%, which is well below the inflation rate. Meanwhile the US dollar resumed its slide and gold broke through $2000. Real world vs fantasy-land.

Bluebird Merchant Ventures (BMV)  has announced that its JV partner in South Korea is pulling out. But this is a blessing in disguise. We are told…

Jordan Roy Byrne is the only chartist we take seriously and he has a warning for you all. Jordan thinks a correction is coming. GDX & GDXJ hit major resistance levels and breadth indicators are extremely overbought. We highlight support levels in Gold & Silver. All is explained in the latest podcast from Palisade Capital.

Goldplat (GDP) “is pleased to announce the signing of a binding term sheet… for the sale of… the assets and licences of the Kenyan underground mining operation” Kilimapesa…

Operator of 165 neighbourhood café / bar / restaurants across England and Wales under the Lounge and Cosy Club brands, Loungers (LGRS) “is pleased to update on current trading having now re-opened all 165 sites in the estate, with the exception of Cosy Club in Leicester which opens this Friday” – and the shares have currently responded to 130p, more than 20% higher…

I give Metro Bank (MTRO) this: at least it has learnt it is smarter to issue your regulatory news updates at 7am like everybody else, rather than sneaking them out at 5pm. So positive to see today’s half-year results coming out at a sensible time. Now let’s get onto the less good stuff – and there is plenty…

Hello, Share Takers. This old punter is rather miffed with an investment company called IP Group (IPO). It raised £52.4 million by selling a shedload of shares in Ceres Power (CWR), which is one of the biggest plays in my bag. This sale caused a minor crash in the Ceres share price. Instead of owning 5.4% of Ceres, IP Group now has only 0.2% of the green power company. So who is this big investor, IP?…