I am sharpening my claws and preparing to return to the fray as a contributor to this esteemed website: well, once I finish my marmalade sandwich. What is it that has brought me back you might ask? It is a confluence of factors:

It’s going to be a sad day when the Worthington (WRN) and Newco saga finally comes to a sorry end as it is comedy gold and Aidan Earley’s latest offering doesn’t disappoint. I thought I’d set out the full “announcement” that came out on Thursday with my commentary.

On Monday 13th February, Tom Winnifrith noted a crazy market for resource juniors and that, as an experiment, we'd track a 'Dirty Dozen' of such stocks after 1 week, 1 month, 3 months, 6 months and on December 31. Here is the month update...

As the well-known saying goes, turnover is vanity, profit is sanity but cash is king!  How then, should you refer to a company that displays either zero or negative for all three?  Welcome to the fantasy world of EVR Holdings (EVRH), the holding company for buzz-word bingo business MelodyVR.

From the FCA's spreadsheet of short positions required to be disclosed to it, the following shows the shorted AIM shares with positions from 2016 and thus far in 2017 (by net short position %) - and if this position has increased (red), reduced (green) or remained unchanged (black) since last week...

Hello Share Tusslers. The majority of private shareholders at the UK Investor Show at Westminster in a couple of weeks’ time will be sitting on huge gains over the year. They will be in a jollier mood than we’ve seen them in a long time.

I have been greatly distracted not least dealing with this utterly brain dead and vile Cloudtag (CTAG) shareholder who has been spamming me with the most ghastly abuse all day. I look at the Bob Diamond bid for Panmure Gordon (PMR) and what it means for the wider broking/corporate advisory sector. I then turn to Premaitha (NIPT) and the wider issue of the pointlessness of commissioned research. I touch on Management Resource Solutions (MRS) in light of the news earlier HERE but now the way it is really trying to screw shareholders with a 5p placing. There is comment on Jubilee Platinum (JLP). Then it is back to two old favourites: Advanced Oncotherapy (AVO) and Milestone (MSG). Woof Woof.

CyanConnode (CYAN) is “pleased to announce” a successful equity raise of 1,906,912,392 new shares at 0.17p each. Hang on, haven’t I already heard similar since previously reviewing in August?...

The roll call of shame on today's RNS from Stellar Diamonds: Nomad Cairn Financial (Emma Earl, that name rings a bell), Broker Beaufort Securities (Jon Bellis), joint broker Peterhouse Corporate Finance (Martin Lampshire), Financial Advisers Mirabaud (Rory Scott), Pr St Brides ( Lottie Brocklehurst). The headline is "709 Carat Diamond Discovered in Sierra Leone." Fuck me: where do I buy Stellar shares? These guys have just discovered the 13th biggest diamond in the country's history. Fuck me again - where is my fucking stockbroker? Oh er hang on...

Self-described “pioneer in materials innovation and solid-state battery technology”, Ilika (IKA) has followed recent “Toyota Funds Collaboration with Ilika” and “Collaboration with Galvani Bioelectronics” announcements with a “Trading update” commencing with that such deals “are resulting in a strong ramp-up of revenue relative to 2015/16”. Good, good… You what? The shares currently down circa 15%, approaching 40p?!?...

Having helped steer Beacon Hill Resources (BHR) onto the rocks and signing off on the infamous hairdresser share trade I am delighted to see that loathsome Murray D'Almeida was now come a cropper a second time on AIM, leaving the board of Management Resources Solutions (MRS) with immediate effect today. He jumped before he was pushed. But hang on, all is not what it seems.

Petropavlovsk (POG) has updated on its pressure oxidation hub development, with construction activities having fully resumed following bank debt refinancing.

I never thought I’d be saying this, but it is hats off the to the board which looks to have saved the company. This morning AIM-listed Igas Energy (IGAS) updated on its rescue refinancing and it looks to be a done deal. Shareholders will be feeling the pain, but as we have continually warned as the share price declined this was an inevitable consequence of the financial predicament in which the company found itself, the legacy of the Andrew “Piggy” Austin era. 

A couple of days ago I noted how the London South East Bulletin Board ( aka the LSE Asylum) appeared to be heading towards insolvency - HERE. It is the fate which, almost, invariably happens to companies that hire Zak, the Sith Lord, Mir. For Judas is also Jonah. And now a closer examination of its historic numbers shows that the crisis may be far worse than even we thought. Timber!!!!!

This is not the fault of Crown Ocean but of the bastards who have been grossly overpaid for destroying value at Bowleven (BLVN) - the team let by piggy in chief Kevin Hart. As I reported yesterday, disgraced CEO Hart may have been booted off the board by shareholders but he remains as CEO and is still running the company on full ( unjustifiable) pay. This is because Crown has 2 directors but the old regime still has two men on the board and the casting vote with chairman Mr Allan. Thus there is no change of personnel at Bowleven or of strategy. This really is a disgraceful way for directors to treat the folks who own the company - shareholders.

Having been cc'd in on a list of shareholders in the AIM listed ( pro tem) fraud Cloudtag (CTAG) leaked in breach of Data Protection laws by the company itself, I could not resist sending them an email pointing them to some high quality covrerage of the stock. I received a few replies. Here is the best of the bunch. I wonder if this clown, a Mr John Simpson,  thinks this will help him get his cash back and if his wife and employer knows that he spends his days sending such emails. I have to feel sorry for the chap who obviously deeply troubled.

Having recently noted a £2.4 million repayment due to Royal Bank of Scotland on 31st March (Hayward Tyler – announces “new order wins”, but attempted bailout financing dump ahoy?), I now note a further announcement from Hayward Tyler Group (HAYT); “Bank facility update and new order win”...

Hello Share Thumpers. I’ve been spending a lot on shares in recent days. The reason is that I’ve not topped up my ISA and, as the financial year is fast disappearing towards a new horizon, I have been selling a few turkeys in my ordinary trading accounts to fund my tax-protected ISA.

“Seeing Machines (SEE), the AIM listed technology company with a focus on operator monitoring and intervention sensing technologies and services is pleased to announce its unaudited financial results for the six months to 31 December 2016” and CEO Ken Kroeger is “pleased with the progress towards the achievement of our long-term goals as our multi-sector strategy continues to gain momentum”. Good, good… er, what? The shares currently more than 15% lower in response?!?...

This morning AIM , for now listed, fraud Cloudtag (CTAG) had an announcement which was comical and is torn to shreds by me HERE. But it gets better, it sent an alert to all those folks who had registered with it to receive alerts. Then panic stations....