Womens value retailer Bonmarche (BON) has announced it has followed a “generally poor summer season” with “extremely poor” trading in September – stated to be “largely as a consequence of the unseasonably hot weather which has not favoured sales of our new autumn ranges”. Hmmm…

Oh dear, the man who signed off on those ramptastic, but untrue, statements of December 1 2015 and January 6 2016 ahead of the bailout placing on January 12 by African Potash (AFPO) appears to have had a career "incident". Stewart Dickson was head of the team looking after the Potash fraudsters round at Nomad Cantor Fitzgerald, the man ensuring that all RNS's it issued were true. Which, of course, they were not. 

Safestyle UK (SFE) has announced results for the first half of 2016 and that it“remains confident of making further progress and delivering a full year outturn in line with management expectations”.

Ceteris paribus Avanti Communications (AVN) will be trading whilst insolvent within weeks - its cash will not be sufficient to meet contracted capex and bills payable. That is why it is delaying publishing audited results for the year to June 30th 2016 - no auditor is going to sign off on anything from what is an insolvency waiting to happen. Avanti is trying to hide the awful truth but industry sources are revealing its desperate measures to stay afloat.

Specialist wine seller Majestic (WINE) has announced, despite its retail operations “trading on track”, Naked Wines UK and Australia performing “on plan” and “a return to growth for Lay & Wheeler”, that “EBIT for the current financial year ending 3 April 2017 is expected to fall below current market expectations”. Uh-oh…

I wondered HERE whether the proposed rescue refinancing of stricken ShareProphets AIM-China Filthy Forty play MoneySwap (SWAP) could get into a spot of bother as the shares were sliding. Now they have slipped below the mooted bail-out price of 0.2c per share.

Gable (GAH) says that it wants to stay on AIM and its CEO William "Piggy" Dewsall seeking a new Nomad following the resignation of Zeus Capital on 12 September. In which case why is it NOT informing investors of the regulatory mess it is in? Is that not an AIM Rule breach? Is it telling prospective Nomads the bad news? Why did it not announce the information below on 9 September when its shares still traded? Is this why its chairman walked on 9 September? Answers Piggy, give us some frigging answers!

In these times of austerity we are all in it together but sometimes one needs to consider a bit of budgetary restraint one must always look at ones overhead. In that vein, while Graham Neary said "sell" Fastjet (FJET) yesterday many of us feel that he was still too charitable. And then there was his article on Cloudtag (CTAG) where he failed to conclude that it was a worthless fraud. Is Graham just too nice to work at ShareProphets. I have a P45 with his name on it but should I use it? It is up to you to decide, the deadline for voting is midnight today (Wednesday 21st).

Hello Share Swiggers. Let’s have an update on IQE (IQE) my favourite ‘new technology’ share. Though it’s not hard to reach that favoured position as I do not invest in many technology shares having been burnt rather too often.

And there was I thinking that if AIM listed companies had bad news they had to issue an RNS? Well maybe Chris Cleverley has re-drafted the rule book because Northern Petroleum (NOP) seems in no rush to fess up to the impending collapse of its Argentine subsidiary.

Half-year results from scientific instruments company Judges Scientific (JDG) include Chairman Alex Hambro “pleased to be able to report, for the eleventh consecutive year, record revenues and dividends”. The shares are currently more than 9% lower, at sub 1300p, in response. Hmmm…

So the London Stock Exchange (LSE) has just sent me 24p. Fear not, I shall not spend it all at once but on what do listeners think I should splash out? Meanwhile Graham Neary is just too nice to FastJet (FJET) today and unless he can start to act a bit more like a complete and utter bastard I fear that I shall have to fire him as he just won't fit in at ShareProphets. I explain why Fastjet is toast. I look at Charaat Gold (CGH) and also at how sometimes we get carried away by short term events and ignore the bigger picture - I refer in this case to Nighthawk (HAWK). I also ask why after 18 days African Potash (AFPO) has not sued me for libel for pointing out that it is a fraud? Go on you mothers I want to see you bitchez in Court.  The gym I refer to is HERE.

As a child of the ‘70s and ‘80s, I used to love the I-Spy books, so thought I’d liven up a potentially dull preview of Boxhill Technologies’ (BOX) forthcoming interims by writing it in the style of an I-Spy book.

The FRC is already looking at the grossly misleading way that Avanti Communications (AVN) bodged its June 2015 annual results. I reckon Avanti is trying to commit an even bigger crime against prudent accounting with its 2016 numbers and they key is a satellite which is now on the move. But Avanti and its ghastly and morally bankrupt Nomad Cenkos, of Quindell infamy, are trying not to reveal the truth. So have five critical questions for Avanti and the shamed Cenkos.

Nighthawk Energy (HAWK) has announced that it has settled US litigation today which is good news. The bad news is that the settlement is nothing like what is described in the RNS. The company is misleading investors in saying that this is a nil cash settlement. And thus the City's top oil analyst, Zac "the Knife" Phillips of SP Angel senses blood. He writes:

Fastjet’s (FJET) interims for the first half of 2016, released this morning, are another set of results from the company which are about as bad as they could conceivably have been.

I’m a bit confused by this morning’s RNS from Tern plc (TERN) which announces a contract for its “subsidiary” Device Authority. News of $300,000 heading into the coffers of the former Cryptosoft entity over the next three years will be viewed as most welcome by Tern’s shareholders. 

It is great to see that one of the UK's largest companies, GlaxoSmithKline (GSK) has a new CEO who has a cracking CV and and has without doubt been appointed on merit. Oh... and she wears a skirt, that is to say that she is a woman, Emma Walmsley. I wish her well. Emma demonstrates a couple of things which will horrify the liberal left.

As Levrett (LVRT), that I commented on earlier, has got my blood boiling slightly, I need to get a few more matters off my chest relating to the oddest investment company on the London market, namely Craven House Capital (CRV) and its two most recent investments.

I was going to pen a light-hearted piece about two of Sub-Standard Shockers XI going in to suspension last week leaving my team a bit short but one of them, Levrett (LVRT), has wound me up today so I’m going to go in a bit harder on that one squad member instead. Let me explain…..