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Published 467 days ago
Try as he could, Andrew Monk was feeling not very sexy Andrew after the visit of the ghostly figure in a Wrexham hoodie. “Surely everyone knows how important and well connected I am” he repeated over and over again to himself. But he just could not get to sleep.Published 465 days ago
‘Twas the night before Christmas and things were bad at the luxury London townhouse of Mr. Andrew Monk, a man who liked to be described as the City of London’s top small cap broker. Not one visit but two from the ghostly figure in a Wrexham hoodie and now Monk could not find any way to get to sleep and was not greatly surprised when the large French Windows burst open again and, once more, a chubby finger beckoned.Published 467 days ago
The fragrant Mrs. Monk had left for the family’s Cornish Mansion, Dun Broking, some days previously. Very Sexy Andrew, as he liked to refer to himself, had been detained in London by a series of meetings with other terribly important men and so was set to fly down to the Cornish Riviera early on Christmas Day. For now, he found himself alone in his West London townhouse just a few doors away from Jeremy Vine’s pile.Published 463 days ago
Maybe the Andrew Monk Christmas carol was not the egomaniac’s biggest Yuletide Nightmare. Now, as an Aquis advisor, he faces the humiliation of having to reissue (piss poor) interims after making a howling schoolboy error. I guess they did not teach accounting for beginners at Oriel College Oxford. Let’s start with the schoolboy error.Published 1310 days ago
Just in case you were in any doubt as to what a dishonest and untruthful piece of shit former Tory MP Tim Yeo of sleaze infamy is and always has been, here is the judgement in full. To spare you reading the whole thing, I offer you a few gems on what the judge says about Yeo as a witness:
Published 648 days ago
“Oh what a tangled web we weave. When first we practice to deceive.” Andrew Monk, as he oft reminds us went to Oriel College Oxford where he studied rowing and name dropping. So he probably thinks the quote is from Shakespeare. You, dear reader, know that it is from Walter Scott, Marmion, A tale of Flodden Field. But in terms of Monk’s VSA capital (VSA) and its results out today it is apposite although, I should stress, the results are fully compliant with all accounting standards.Published 865 days ago
Who said that for a small cap broker “delisting is inevitable. All are struggling to survive in a climate of scarce deals, low trading volumes, strong competition and rising costs” Okay it is a trick question but the answer is Andrew Monk of VSA Capital (VSA). The trick is that …
Published 617 days ago
Who could have predicted this shitshow? I did but pompous Andrew Monk (Oriel College Oxford, don’t you know) insisted I was talking nonsense. You may well remember that Monkey only managed to record a profit last year by booking a £1 million fee from Aquis lobster pot listed Silverwood (SLWD) for advising it on its purchase of 20% of Lush. The fee was payable in shares which are completely untradeable. Uh oh!Published 752 days ago
Shares in Aquis listed Silverwood Brands (SLWD) are almost untradeable. That did not stop pompous Andrew Monk boasting that his fees for Silverwood buying a stake in Lush from Silverwood’s directors for £216 million (in shares) would ensure that VSA would make a profit this year, having been loss making to the tune of almost a Bernie at the interim stage. Today there is another update from Silverwood showing what utter crap VSA has told investors.Published 270 days ago
Long suffering and, in my case, accidental shareholders in VSA Capital (VSA) should have been braced for piss poor results for the year to March 31 2024. The numbers were indeed dire. But the silver lining is that this year has started better and the bon mots of CEO Andrew Monk which bring a smile to ones face.Published 460 days ago
Every year ShareProphets publishes twenty year-end tips, and these tips overwhelm the Most Read article leaderboard. So I have separated them out, then listed the most read articles and then the most listened-to Bearcasts over the past seven days. The most read non-Quiz, non-Tom article last week is Steve Moore with W.H. Ireland – interims argue “now in a stronger financial position as a result of the delivery of our cost efficiency programme”. Er, what about the bailout placing?! at No 1 or No 17 including Bearcasts and year-end tips.
Published 774 days ago
Andrew Monk of VSA Capital (VSA) has yet to come clean on whether anyone at his firm has been interviewed by the FCA as part of its formal enquiry into wholesale insider dealing , market abuse and investor deception at his client Caracal Gold (GCAT) but now there needs to be an enquiry into share dealing at Siverwood Brands (SLWD) and this time VSA is directly involved. This is the £216 million Lush blow up.Published 745 days ago
Smug stockbroker Andrew Monk has, probably, today already several folks about his education at Oriel College Oxford but is yet to respond to the issue of him misleading the market with regard to revenue recognition re Silverwood Brands (SLWD) so here is another question for the Monkey.Published 1311 days ago
Fresh from its less than flattering role in the Tim Yeo/TMO Renewables trial, Andrew Monk’s VSA Resources has today announced its intention to float on the Aquis lobster pot which Monkey laughably predicts will be Europe’s Nasdaq. You may be tempted because the last accounts show that VSA had a cracking year to March 31 2021. But hang on? Wasn’t VSA once on AIM?
Published 462 days ago
It really is a disgrace that an Aquis listed adviser to Aquis companies can put out a results statement which breaks a basic accounting rule and not issue a correction. Yet that is exactly what Andrew Monk and VSA Capital (VSA) has done. Perhaps he thinks that rules don’t apply to gentlemen such as himself by dint of his education at Oriel College Oxford. I have written to the regulatorPublished 802 days ago
I have yet to hear from my old pal “Andrew “the Monkey” Monk as to when his client Caracal Gold (GCAT) is to announce via RNS the death spiral it took out on 27 June 2022 but has only admitted to in a small footnote buried in the annual report published in November. Monkey has also yet to respond to the issue of directors pledging shares and not disclosing it. So, I have sent another letter to Monkey about another issue.Published 542 days ago
Oh dear, oh dear this is getting messy. Having said that it would go all the way in the Courts to fight for its right to buy 20% of Lush from its own directors, Aquis Listed Silverwood Brands (SLWD) has capitulated. And that leaves a £1 million question for VSA Capital (VSA), its advisor on the deal, where I am an unwitting shareholder. Its egomaniac boss Andrew Monk seems unwilling to answer.Published 744 days ago
The FCA and Aquis Regulation are already investigating this scandal and so, with a hat Tip to in-house BB genius PL, I post the question as to whether on two counts, VSA Capital’s (VSA) star client Silverwood Brands (SLWD) has twice breached the Companies Act. If it has, surely VSA’s CEO Andrew “have I mentioned that I went to Oriel College Oxford, Monk needs to issue a profits warning.Published 809 days ago
If the name Caracal Gold (GCAT) does not ring a bell, count yourself lucky not to have this dig in your portfolio because it is a zero and one where the FCA should be crawling all over everything. Until 16 months ago, Caracal went by another name.Published 1206 days ago
Those who have not been cut off from Andrew Monk’s morning email will, over the past few years have been told time and time again how cheap are shares in the bastard son of Monk & David Lenigas, that is to say Anglo African Agriculture (AAAP). Shares in the company were 12.5p when Monkey first arranged a deal to reverse a Kenyan Port into the sub scale Zim South food producer. They are now 3.75p as that deal has fallen through.
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