UK 19:27 Friday, 23 October 2026
Breaking news and expert analysis on fast-moving AIM and LSE listed shares
Disclosure: I have no positions in any stocks mentioned, and no plans to initiate any positions within the next 72 hours. I wrote this article myself, and it expresses my own opinions. I am not receiving compensation for it (other than from ShareProphets). I have no business relationship with any company whose stock is mentioned in this article.
I have composed a short poem for Mr David Lenigas, yes Jabba The Hutt gets a St Valentines day message from me. In today's contest I would like you to compose a poem for someone else who's portfolio deserves massacring, market abuser Chris Oil, PR genius Steffi, Cyril d'Silva from Golden Saint or perhaps Nigel Somerville has a poem for Angus Forrest at Tern. But can you better my four line offerings below? ( all poems must be in this style)
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Comments
Tom Winnifrith
From Chris Oil to PR Genius Steffi
My accounts in the red
And I’m feeling so blue
On our next “date”
Can Mummy come too?
Colin malcolm
Roses are red
Violets are blue
That’s have a placing
And shag you
Colin malcolm
Rose are red
Violets are blue
Rose petroleum
Has petals of poo
Nigel Somerville
From ShareProphets to Xavier “l’Autruche” Rolet, head of the London Stock Exchange Group (LSE)
China Frauds: it is said
too many got through
to list on the Casino.
The buck stops with you.
The TR1 Addict
From PR genius Steffi to a prospective client
Roses are red,
My proposal to you
3k for my services
with PR thrown in too
Duck and Dive
Yusuf Kajee to TW:
I know we agreed
To meet without fail
Well as I forecast
I’ll see you in jail.
Steve
Roses are red
Afraig’s bust
LGO’s rigs
Are covered in rust
andrew
such a big attack surface…
1 for DL
roses are red
oil is black
TW has warned us
your shares are all cack
2 Any aim listed investment company
some like the smell of ordure
some like the smell of flora(*)
what i want to know is
what are investment companies for eh?
(*) not the margerine, if it smells at all, it is probably past its sell by.
J P Spaghetti
Not my call, of course, but I think SIMPLE MOVING AVARICE’s entry in the Chris Oil at Indaba competition was partifularly impressive. Anyway,
The hot air’s stopped rising
But Linney’s not cowed
His new business failure’s
Obscured by the cloud
Simple Moving Avarice
This one’s for ACHL and their troubles with Huanglongbing disease:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Oranges are dead
And the plantation’s gone too.
Lm
To the gluttonous clowns at CFEP, who just love to run down the share price and hoard the ask of about every AIM share I own.
Roses are red
My language turns blue
When I see the way you work the order books
And AIM will die a death in no part down to you
nigel somerville
…and specially for Daniel Stewart
Your accounts are all red,
The Bearcasts were blue
“All the money’s gone”
And your listing has too
BobbyChariot
Portfolios red
My wife has left me
I should never have ‘invested’
In G K fucking P
andrew
Eden Research #2
Apples are green
Innocence has had its time
The money has gone, and the last line
.
Tom Winnifrith
Worthington’s dead
its morons are wailing
The whole of its board
seriously need jailing
creature
Roses are red
An opportunity for you
We’re pleased to announce
A ‘Strategic Review’
Revenue this year
Will be ‘broadly similar’
Though some may notice
Those words sound familiar
They’ll take the bate
If they don’t translate
Some think it’s corrupt
But the truth is ’We’re Fucked’
JASPERTHERDOG
An Ode to Slater & Gordon:
The accounts are all red,
The language is blue
Shareprophets was right,
You’re deep in the poo.
wildrides
Look at the “over the shoulder grin” on Cheryl …………… that should get Whinni playing with the permeability of his “Permeable Super Highway”
Roses are ………… oh feck it ……… after 35 years I cant be arsed .
Drunken Sailor
My shares are in the red
TW says the company is talking poo
I am going to ignore him and believe the BB Rampers
Because I enjoy poverty too
Tom Winnifrith
and for you drunken
TXO dead
but my work is not done
more investors to scam
Tim says oh what fun
Worthingtonian
For the board and shadows of Worthington
Roses are red
Snowdrops are pale
Whyte, Earley, Ware, Spurway, Biggar, James, Winduss, Schkoda, Bruyneel, Forbes, Chapman, Beharrell, Mehta, Newman
You are going to jail
Steffi the TR1 Queen©
Clem is the sly one
Dan’s very naughty
Chris is the clown at
Antrim’s concert party
Sefton is Dead
‘Scuba is dying
Chris is unhinged
Forgive him for lying
Dan enjoys running
I’m fond of gym
Chris spunks Mum’s money
That’s why we love him
By the way, you will be hearing from one of the most expensive barristers in the city very soon indeed now that Chris is back in the northern hemisphere of the planet he calls home. Something about copyright of the photograph of him waiting at Table that you saw fit to publish simply to make cheap fun at his expense. As you know, I have first call on his expenses so expect it to go “all the way” (an expression I have learnt from my two best English speaking friends, Dan and Dave but in a very different context).
Steve
There was a young called Rob
Who committed fraud to make a few bob
In the end it all failed
And he’s going to be jailed
But I doubt many will sob.
JASPERTHERDOG
So, Motive is dead,
Their nomad’s a’leavin.
Their shocking decline
Sent millions to heaven
Nigel Somerville
And by popular demand (from the Sheriff), for Angus Forrest
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
DLM was poo
and Tern will be too
DeepPurple
Roses are red
Violet’s are blue
Buy LGO ?
I wouldn’t would you