David Lenigas in Cuba Photo Caption Contest - deadline Sunday

Comments

1. ---

   Chad_John

   7 March 2016, 05:57

   One is rather fat, contains toxic material and blows a lot of smoke.
   The other is a cigar.

2. ---

   James Cleeve

   7 March 2016, 06:14

   With minimal stimulation, Dave eased out a monstrous gaseous emission. He thought to himself, now if I only had one of those brewing at the end of the Horse Hill drill, I could have convinced them there were 9 billion cubic feet of gas down there for sure!

3. ---

   Mr Bob Knocks

   7 March 2016, 06:15

   Master of Illusion Big Dave prepares to toke on a £0.49p Yussuf Cuban Knock Off standing beside advertising for ‘the real deal’ whilst contemplating his next investment offering whereby mug punters will beg to pay 200 times more than himself for a share of the action.

4. ---

   Graking

   7 March 2016, 06:56

   You’re some big dildo said the giant cigar case to the rich fat twat mobster posing for his brain dead disciples.

5. ---

   turbograndad

   7 March 2016, 07:02

   Groucho Marx, liked a cigar or three, I quote, “The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that you’ve got it made” Jabba the disiciple..

6. ---

   wildrides

   7 March 2016, 07:03

   Del boy Lemongas reflects wistfully on the demise of his long and deep friendship with Tom Whinning Froth lasting many years and wonders what he has to do to restore the situation where Whinny tacitly ignored all his companies again . He contemplates the Olive branch to restore the status quo but then thinks “feck it ……… memories run deep and the old hypocrite Whinny will get a new hobby soon”

7. ---

   Tom Winnifrith

   7 March 2016, 07:07

   Afriag’s pin up boy tried to impress the Cubans with one of Yusuf’s “duty free” cigars from Zim but nobody seemed terribly interested

8. ---

   Steffi the TR1 Queen©

   7 March 2016, 07:07

   In their pursuit of dirt on the Jermyn Street Gang and its cronies, Imperial Tobacco Group’s surveillance team gets closer to Mr Big than they could ever have hoped.

   or

   Having been fully briefed by Kiran and Toby on the possibilities that Cuba has to offer the discerning gentleman of a certain age and inclination, Dave looks to spot someone, preferably forgotten and beautiful, in whom he can invest for the price of a cigar.

9. ---

   Tom Winnifrith

   7 March 2016, 07:09

   “Hey Wildes is that you?” shouted Big Dave “ “Go buy some more LGO shares gopher and I’ll give you something new to suck on”

10. ---

    James Cleeve

    7 March 2016, 07:16

    Just as spinach was the source of Popeye’s strength, for Dave it was the ‘pepperami wideboy’. Cuba provided the perfect cover for his secret habit…

11. ---

    Simple Moving Avarice

    7 March 2016, 07:26

    A beautiful moment of inter-species love as Big Dave shows off his tall, slim, elegant Dalek girlfriend for the first time.

12. ---

    NEMESIS

    7 March 2016, 07:44

    Breaking News: Indisputable evidence has emerged as to why Lenigas took 3 hours off from his usual BS 24/7 twitter rampfest last week.

13. ---

    alcira16247

    7 March 2016, 07:51

    Big Dave, photographed smoking a giant Havana cigar known famously for being rolled between the wobbly thighs of a big fat virgin.

    Yep! Its true…… Dave does indeed rolls his own!

14. ---

    warun boofit

    7 March 2016, 08:03

    Twitter to Kim Jong -un from big Dave : “ Thats my bit done , your nuclear missile with Cohiba logo is now in position in Havana so next time Obama calls you a little fast bastard you are all ready to go”.

    Kim to Dave ; “ Thanks Dave, ok then all I have to do is buy 20 billion shares in Lenigas Cuba at 6p and we are quits ? I will get on the phone to Barclays straight away, have a nice day”.

15. ---

    Gareth Jones

    7 March 2016, 08:12

    Listening to Pink Floyd and this song seems appropriate
    Come in here dear boy, have a cigar
    You’re gonna go far’ ……………….
    ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
    and did they tell you the name of the game boy
    It’s called riding the gravy train

16. ---

    Marvin

    7 March 2016, 11:34

    Lenigas goes on the pull in Havana and soon finds the perfect pitch.
    “They don’t call me Big Dave for nothing “

17. ---

    chris

    7 March 2016, 13:07

    That looks like a massive cock.

18. ---

    wildrides

    7 March 2016, 13:08

    moderated. repitition

19. ---

    warun boofit

    7 March 2016, 16:12

    …….. after 9 hours on hold to Barclays Stockbrokers Glasgow

    http://www.thefarcereport.com/craziest-kim-jong-un-quotes/4/

    head broker Hamish Mc Sporan answers the phone, “ Hoots Mon, wha can ar doo fer yer Jimmy ?

    Kim : “Its me, the great leader, please buy 20 billion shares in Lenigas Cuba at 6p.”

    Hamish, wtf, its 4.27pm an arm just back frum me lunch, go boil yur heed an arm goin home in 3 minutes.

    Kim : Please try to help

    och aye mon, seein as its you , just a minute …….. computer says no, “ we are unable to obtain a quote for your share”, can yous phone back in aboot 5 minutes after arve gone ohm ?

    Kim : fuck you imperialist pigs, I will try Hargreaves Lansdown instead.

20. ---

    Cuban Ring smoker

    7 March 2016, 16:34

    My name is Jabba Lardiarse Hutt, Maybe i can by a load of these COHIBAS for 0.001p and sell them to my punters for 5p. I can even economize on the freight, if i transport them on my 100ft yacht that theses mug punters bought for me, Now let me carry on smoking through my Lardiarse,

21. ---

    Santiago

    8 March 2016, 02:00

    “hmmm, got me smokes sorted all I need now is a bowl of greenish water with little frogs to snack on and Yusuf! go and fetch my Slave girl!”

22. ---

    wildrides

    8 March 2016, 03:14

    “ I have everything in life now , alas, except Whinny sucking my dick.”

23. ---

    Andy C

    10 March 2016, 11:26

    ‘This Peroni tastes like Horse Shite ! Where is the Fosters, blue. Oh and give those guys in the corner their bags of cheese ‘n’ onion and dealing costs and say Cheerio,’