UK 18:25 Friday, 23 October 2026
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With no reference to any particular court proceedings which may or may not be about to unfold we have an Early Monday caption contest. The deadline for entries is Wednesday when I have an important, er...meeting. Don't hold back, there's no prize just the joy of wide rangersing free speech.
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Comments
alcira16247
After hearing the brilliant and convincing case for the defence, the judge turns to the plaintiffs barrister…… and say’s
“you better stop wasting any more of my time”.
Tom Winnifrith
Judge: “Mr Earley your face seems familiar, where do you think we might have met before?”
wildrides
This case makes legal history ………… being the first time a successful defence case has been headed up by a three legged cat named Oakley masquerading as a 25kg bag of King Edwards. It is therefore only proper in the circumstances that I should award the maximum damages available having heard the defence application for costs . I therefore award damages as 5 tonnes of palletised Royal Canin and a new stainless steel food bowl .
DUCK AND DIVE
“Put my Napoletana in my chambers — and convey my thanks to the defendant.”
john g
Judge : It seems to me that this Earley bird picked the wrong worm to have a fight with.
Phil
Will the plaintiff please stop praying and save his prayers for the church. Three Hail Mary’s and two Hallelujahs will not help him here
Hu Man Being
The Judge is saying, “Thank you all for coming today, we will no doubt be seeing the plaintiff at The Old Bailey very soon, case dismissed.”
Phil
The judge:-
Counsel, I know your client is busy, we are all busy, but this is neither the time nor the place for your client Mr Winnifrith to record a bearcast
filthy lucre
Judge : “ It seems to me that this Earley bird picked the wrong worm to have a fight with. And worm is certainly the right word in this instance “
a1hooky
judge- i apologise ladies and gentlemen for my tardiness in attending late howeaver i had to see my distressed old mill worker mother up north having recieved bad news about her pension fund and god help the scoundrels if i get my hands on them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hanging is far too good for them
Mr Earley, I have inspected the rear of the radiator in my Chambers and have noted the singular absence of a brown envelope stuffed with £50’s as was our arrangement. I have no option, therefore, but to award costs and damages to Mr Whinyfroth.
Glenn B
What is man like you doing in a place like this? Oh wait….
Glenn B
What is man like you doing in a place like this? Oh wait….
Glenn B
No sir, you may not pay damages using Worthlesston securities.
Miserly Investor
Judge: “Before we start, can I remind everyone in the courtroom to turn off their mobile phones and laptops. Anyone found taking photos, recording a Bearcast or video postcard during the hearing will be found in contempt of Court.”
2+2=4
Mr Earley – you are in contempt for wasting the Court’s time and I order you to donate £5,000 to Mr. Winnifrith’s campaign to expose dodgy companies