Bryce Elder an A grade knob at the FT has his arse kicked by heroic Tim Martin of JD Wetherspoon: “3 nil to Timbo”

Bryce has been a self important, mathematically challenged, A grade knob for all of the 25 years I have known him. Of all the shitheads on the FT he really is the biggest cocksucker going.  Today, Tim Martin wipes the floor with him in a withering RNS from JD Wetherspoon (JDW). Worse at economics than Rachel Reeves! Ouch. It is laugh a minute stuff unless you are the utterly clueless Elder. Enjoy.

Brexit Derangement Syndrome and Wetherspoon’s woes

Liz Webster is some sort of campaigner for ignoring the democratic will of the people and snuggling up closer to the Evil Empire. And thus, as you can see below, she links the latest profits warning from JD Wetherspoon (JDW) run by Brexit hero Tim Martin to Brexit itself, something that now happened 7 years ago.

J D Wetherspoon (#JDW) – “profits for the year are likely to be below market expectations, with marginally lower sales than anticipated in the final quarter, combined with higher costs”

J D Wetherspoon (#JDW) – 13 weeks to 26th April LFL sales +3.4% YoY, “substantial increases in costs… may result in profits slightly below market expectations”

J D Wetherspoon (#JDW) – H1 adj. EPS down to 15.5p, DPS maintained at 4p, warns FY profit may be “slightly below current market expectations”

J D Wetherspoon (#JDW) – “makes clear its policy on dogs following BBC article… which gives a misleading impression”

Why Tim Martin is a million quid per pub hero at Spoons

There are a lot of folk out there, notably our in house Euro loon Jonathan who will not forgive the heroic Tim Martin of JD Wetherspoon (JDW) for being what they term a “Brexshiteer”. Every time Tim serves up even a slight profits miss they cheer. There are huge guffaws from the bien pensants if he ever closes down a pub. The #BoycottSpoons campaign aimed to shut down the whole chain. Words almost fail me as to how dumb such folks are.

Joy for deranged Euroloons - minor profits warning at JD Wetherspoon (#JDW)

J D Wetherspoon (#JDW) – Q1 LFL sales +3.7% YoY, Chairman Tim Martin hits out at energy policy, UK corporate governance guidelines and wages and tax

J D Wetherspoon (#JDW) – FY adj. EPS +5% to 50.8p, DPS maintained at 12p, “reasonable” outlook but notes “government-led cost increases in areas such as energy”

Heroic Tim Martin of JD Wetherspoon explains how to save the Nation’s pubs

Both the Tories and Labour yak on about saving the nation’s pubs. I am not sure that against a backdrop of changing demographics and also changing behaviour in terms of drink that this sector can ever boom and grow again. However both parties have had the power to slow the rate of decline, both have done nothing. It is thus doubly dishonest for either to claim they will reverse the decline.

J D Wetherspoon (#JDW) – 12 weeks to 20th July LFL sales +5.1% YoY, helping the bottom-line against “high tax and labour increases for the hospitality industry”

J D Wetherspoon (#JDW) – 13 weeks to 27th April LFL sales +5.6% YoY, notes “recent trading has been helped by favourable weather”

We're from the government and we're here to help you: Spoons’ heroic Tim Martin explains economics to Rachel from Customer Services

Interims from JD Wetherspoon (JDW) are out this morning and for reasons without its control they have not impressed and the shares are off by c10%. Heroic chairman Tim Martin knows who is to blame. He says that:

J D Wetherspoon (#JDW) – H1 adj. EPS +6% to 21.5p, DPS 4p, boss Tim Martin hits out at national insurance, labour and VAT rates

Hero of the day (again): Wetherspoon’s Tim Martin blasts out of touch no beer Kier

The great Tim Martin has served up a trading statement for JD Wetherspoon (JDW) which is pretty creditable given the damage that Rachel from Accounts is doing to the economy. Apparently, the chancellor told assembled suits in Davos yesterday that she was committed to lower taxes and cutting regulation. You could have fooled me. But the Spoons boss saves his customary vitriol for the dear leader, Two Tier Keir.

J D Wetherspoon (#JDW) – 25 weeks to 19th Jan LFL sales +5.1% YoY

J D Wetherspoon (#JDW) – 14 weeks LFL sales +5.9% YoY, “cost inflation… has now jumped substantially again following the budget”

J D Wetherspoon (#JDW) – FY adj. EPS up to 46.8p, resumed DPS at 12p, 9 weeks to 29th September LFL sales +4.9%

Heroic Tim Martin of ‘Spoons calls out the wretched Daily Mail for fake news (again)

In a rather waspish release the greatest living Englishman, Tim Martin, the founder of JD Wetherspoon (JDW) has again called out the ghastly Daily Mail for publishing fake news. The release is particularly waspish. The great man opines: