Motive TV in Administration - Caption Contest

Comments

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   Duck and Dive

   24 February 2016, 03:50

   Don’t breathe through your nose boys – this one’s been rotting away for over ten years.

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   JASPERTHERDOG

   24 February 2016, 03:55

   NEWSCASTER – ‘In an unusual incident today at the London Stock Exchange, the corpse was required to assist in removing its coffin from the premises. So many AIM companies are ill and dying that the coffin bearers are becoming exhausted. Scenes such as this have not been seen since 1665 when the other Great Plague decimated the City.’

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   bwakem

   24 February 2016, 03:58

   “This coffin’s flippin’ heavy!”

   “Yeah there’s 4 billion bits of confetti in it”

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   Drunken Sailor

   24 February 2016, 04:05

   Not much meat left on this carcass by the feel of it, that greedy bastard Fertig must have done a really good job on it.

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   Simple Moving Avarice

   24 February 2016, 05:33

   Today, Motive is pleased to announce its all-wood coffin which users can use instead of their main coffin.

   The Motive coffin is provided with five pall-bearers. New users will need to buy a sixth pall-bearer to use the service. Tacky shiny lettering to stick on the side of the coffin is available to users in the UK and the US from all Apple App Stores in the world for a cost of $4.99 or £2.99.

   The Motive coffin is initially limited to people under 5’ 6”, however, the Company is working on a version for all sizes of people and will make a further announcement once this version has been completed.

   Leonard M Fertig, CEO of Motive commented, “The Company continues to deliver unnecessary products which join a unique family of utterly outdated gadgets, and we feel that the Motive coffin is well-suited for this quickly developing market.”

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   Chad_John

   24 February 2016, 06:01

   At least this box is more useful than Motive TV’s products.

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   warun boofit

   24 February 2016, 06:17

   Now chaps we just have to carry this to the burial grounds at 2 Broadgate where David Lenigas will take charge of proceedings by ramping the corpse into an upright position followed by a quick placing to raise a few million quid before gravity takes over and it goes tits up.

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   Tom Winnifrith

   24 February 2016, 06:30

   Reading the lesson at the funeral was Mr Xaviet Rolet: “From the book of Lenigas, Chapter 11…There came three men from the East End, who destroyed yet another fine British Company by short selling and yeah the confetti spread across the globe carried by the four winds. And the Lord said there is no chance whatesoever that Len Furtig shall pass through the eye of the needle” Here endeth the ramp.

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   Drunken Sailor

   24 February 2016, 10:58

   I am so sorry to see this one go, I was all set up to pay $4.99 to download their app so I could watch TV on my main TV. Now I guess I will just have to watch TV on my TV. How many more fine British companies are we going to have to carry out of here before there are enough signatures on that petition to ban shorting – they have done that already in China you know and it is really working there.

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    WittyPseudonym

    24 February 2016, 12:24

    Apple.
    Apple!
    Apple Apple Apple.
    APPLE.
    APPLE!

    (Issue of equity.)

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    Janus stark

    24 February 2016, 14:56

    Voice from inside coffin, “Let me out you fuckin halfwits, I fucked you and your placings ahoy”.
    Pallbearer, “Shush Tom, the cremation will be over soon”.