UK 06:47 Tuesday, 6 October 2026
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With an apology to Twitter member @hardy682 for stealing his copyright, we now invite readers to submit captions to this most amusing and topical picture. A bottle of champagne to the winner, to be paid for by Ben Turney out of his fee from The Times for exposing “Bank Robber David” the former chairman of Sefton Resources. Entries will close at midnight on Sunday. Over to you.
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Comments
TROYSKA
Three of these wore their lies like a cape, and believed their own hype all the way to the grave. 1 saw the error of his ways and set out to change himself for the better.
Sadly small minded pedants who claim to be Christian in their beliefs and their behavior decided that their own ego’s and their own petty vengeance were more important than a man trying to make a bad life good.
Dan’s proven that you can make a bad life good, Turney has proven that religion does not define a man.
DUCK AND DIVE
Hopkins’ Hole in the Head Gang pose for photographers after their 27th armed raid on the unguarded LSE headquarters.
wildrides
OILY :- “Desperate Dan , Desperate Dan ……… with his band of men , steals from the poor gives to the rich”
BROKEN MAN DAN :- “shut the fuck up Oily …… I told you not to sing on the job”
RUSSIAN ROULETTE CHAMBERS :- “thats not very nice Dan”
BROKEN MAN DAN :- “shut the fuck up you fucking fuck”
DEL BOY LEMON GAS :- “thanks for the invite Dan , this is way more fun than Cuba”
OILY :- “ stand and deliver , ya money or ya life”
BROKEN MAN DAN :- “ for fucks sake oily”
Mike Oxlong
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly…..Plus 3 blokes in masks
Amazed if Quindell, Sefton Resources, Worthington Group PLC are frauds
Reforming LSE one heist at a time, Daniel Levi, Craig Whyte, Aiden Earley and Allan Biggar.
Tom Winnifrith
Chris Oil & his mother demand boardroom change at New World & unveil their new dream team
Tom Winnifrith
Having completed the boardroom due diligence on his latest IPO, Roland “fatty” Cornish takes the directors round to the LSE to get the AIM prospectus formally signed off
GheeBhee
Clem, Mike and Jim gently break-in their new mock-jewish front man with a corporate raid on the UK’s least protected casino before heading off to do the same in Cuba.
Rigsby
“Right CaliJoe (pictured far right), drive us to a bank this time, not a dogging site”
blujay
OK, we’re ready for Doc Holiday and the Sheriff of Aim
nigel somerville
Robbie Burns AKA the Naked Trader wins Dan Levi lookalike contest against not very convincing competition
Richard T
The Clanton brothers and their friends get ready for the Sheriff and Deputy to arrive at the OK Corral. Cue song: “ Do not forsake me Oh my darling….” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sLwPziSznU
wildrides
Desperate Dan :- “now remember boys , when Sherlock Turney arrives he thinks he has invited us to a new safe house . You lot lead the way into the gaff and I will give him some BB gun plastic balls in the back” ,“and no singing Stand & Deliver Oily”
TCS
Mr Grey: “Alright lads, heres your new Identities”
Mr Black: “Cool Dan, this is the easiest 50 grand well make”
Mr Cyan: “Yeah, if we get caught the most they’ll do us for is a slapped wrist”
Mr Grey: “Oi you lags, from now on Im Mr Grey, Dan doesnt exist anymore”
Mr Brown: “Why am I Mr. Brown?”
Mr Grey: “Chris, you and I both know why you’re Mr Brown…”
Ben Turney
OI! LISTEN! No arguments. Multibillionaire trading God Chris Oil now runs the London Stock Exchange;
Maz
Forget it Chris, our pump & dump just isn’t working this time. Only way we’re gonna make any lolly is to storm the Sefton AGM and rob the shareholders at gunpoint this time. Just make sure California Joe has the engine running on the Bentley
purple11
“HERE,USE THIS TOOL.PULLBACK PUMP and AIM!”
Ben Turney
The hunt for a bride for Chris Oil took a sinister turn
purple11
“Grab your tool Chris….pull…pump..and AIM!”
purple11
“Grab your tool Chris. Pullback Pump and AIM!”
Matson
Stefie, where the hell did you get these dodgy suits from? We grabbed them from Chris’s wardrobe Dan!! And Chris who’s Ronald Reagan? That’s mum Dan, she wanted payback.
wildrides
Dan ( black jacket ) pointing gun at Oily (light blue jacket) says :-
“Oily ….. this suits sticky inside ………. you aint been wanking in it ave ya”
“ Err ……… well ………… just a little one, I always get a stiffy when robbing the poor ………….. sorry Dan”
CalculatedGuess
“ADVFN Blogger of the year, fifth most wanted man in Britain, convicted armed robber and shiniest head since Kojak. I’ve done all these things but I can’t convince you to purchase shares in SER or NEW. Not even with a gun pointed to your head!!!”
Xiaozie Hong
NEW PAYDAY 2 DLC: THE STOCKPORT BANK JOB
£5.99 ON STEAM, XBOX LIVE, PLAYSTATION PLUS.
(aside) if this caption doesn’t win, you have totally lost touch with life and I hate you. Huahuahua.
wildrides
X ….OZZY
Come on pleeeeeeeeease ! Stockport has a bank ………… your havin a larph guv . They just keep it under the mattress there dont they?
Steffi the TR1 Queen©
From the Shareprophets© photo archive: 23 April 2015. Having just announced their plan to Plug & Abandon Sefton shareholders, the Savesure© consortium demonstrate to sceptical AIM© regulators that they really do have the expertise to deliver four barrels a day.
Ben Turney
Shooting from the hip, infamous blogger Bank Robber David reveals the true identities of the SaveSure Consortium’s backers
Steffi the TR1 Queen©
“We’ve got a team already lined up to go in if that is the case,” Mr Williams told The Independent.©