UK 19:37 Saturday, 24 October 2026
Breaking news and expert analysis on fast-moving AIM and LSE listed shares
Disclosure: I own shares in one or more of the stocks mentioned. I wrote this article myself, and it expresses my own opinions. I am not receiving compensation for it (other than from ShareProphets). I have no business relationship with any company whose stock is mentioned in this article.
No prizes just a chance for folks to show their wit and to show their appreciation for the LSE in its heroic efforts to make the AIM Casino the success that it is. Perhaps shareholders in Arria NLG, Optare, JQW and other star performers today might be especially incentivised to enter. Post your captions in the comments section beow
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Comments
MrContrarian
Savage cost cutting allows LSE to ignore AIM corruption with 1/3 the staff.
DUCK AND DIVE
LSE motto: Hear no evil, see no evil and suck your own dick.
wildrides
Got a slap round the chops from Bus manufacturer Optare today . Have to fess up to that one . It got ran over by a ……………….. . This is what happens when you dont pay attention and the biggest share holder garners 75.1 % of the voting rights and only needs 75% to get anything through at an EGM . What was the main complaint of said 75% holder . Wait for it ………..you cant make it up ……… I am warning you ………….yes “A lack of liquidity” of the share ! Well I wonder why that was ……… Dowaah ! Cos there is only 25% being traded stupid .Cant blame AIM for that no matter how hard I might try . That and the fact its a Jam Tomorrow outfit that is on the brink of actually finding jam with a new 7 million contract just won .Well guess who thinks “blimey success is coming and I am avin it all ! “ Yes mr 75% .
Luckerly I sold all my holding apart from a small token when the contract was announced a while back . But still a loss today on what I had left .
Lesson for today ………. keep an eye on large shareholders growing their stake . The reason is all to obvious .
wildrides
OH SHIT ! here comes Optares new double decker ………..hunker down hedgehogs !
turbograndad
LSE, CEO working on his presentation skills, you’ve got to hand it to him, Oh fuck it, I’ll do what everyone else does.
Warun Boofit
If you turned the brown monkey around it would look like a turd, an ideal symbol to replace the two lions on the LSE coat of arms bringing the message to up to date although I would strongly advise them to keep the existing logo ‘ dictum meum pactum’ which as some fluent French speakers may know means ‘bend over, take AIM, be shafted’.
alcira16247
Tom
For your consideration:-
1. Breaking News!!!!!!!
London Stock Exchange Executives, Messrs Xavier Rolet (Chief Executive) and David Warren (Chief Financial Officer) have announced today that they would keep their mouths shut “indefinitely” in the hope that their silence would trigger an improvement in the reputation of AIM governance.
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2. “What’s that old boy, the China frauds are winning 2-0”…………“Oh! I just can’t bear to look!”
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3. The board of directors of the venerable LSE, prove once again that the word ANALYTICAL and its meaning is beyond their comprehension!
adjective: relating to or using analysis or logical reasoning.
synonyms: systematic, logical, scientific, inquisitive, investigative, enquiring, methodical, organized, well organized, ordered, orderly, meticulous, rigorous, searching, critical, interpretative, diagnostic, exact, precise, accurate, mathematical, regulated, controlled, rational
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4. More Breaking News!!!!!!!
Britain’s most hardened criminals refuse to share a cell with Mr R. Terry!
alcira16247
Tom
Even more breaking news!!!!!
Following the successful campaign led by Tom Winnifrith and unwilling to wait for their eventual indictments, the 50 remaining CEOs of fraudulent public AIM listed companies made a break for it yesterday, heading for the Channel Tunnel, plundering towns and villages along the way, and writing the entire rampage off as a marketing expense, ShareProphets reports.
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Even More More Breaking News!!!!!
Following investigate financial journalist , Tom Winnifrith’s barring from yesterday’s London Stock Exchange meeting, the LSE’s CEO announces, with a hard hitting statement, in a bid to restore confidence in the AIM financial market:—-
“We will use the full weight of the law to expose and root out misdeeds,” the CEO said during a speech in a local pub. “My board of directors will do everything in their power to end the days of cooking the books, shading the truth, and breaking the law, unless it occurred the same year that Manchester United, Manchester City or Chelsea won the Premier League.”
“Also, it doesn’t count if a person’s last name begins with the letter ‘T,’” or “sounds foreign” he added.
To cries of drunken howls of approval and “Hear” “Hear” he closed with the following remarks:-
“White collar crime will not be tolerated”. “Aim Regulation officials are charged with bringing to court all…….
“Corporate officers who benefit from false accounting statements should forfeit all money gained by their fraud, unless that number equals more or less than £42 million”.
“Corporate leaders who violate the public trust should never be given that trust again, unless they run for Parliament”.
nigel somerville
“See,” said Marcus Studdart, “this turd polished up very nicely indeed”
wildrides
Oh bollocks ……….here comes that Winnifroth again, looking very angry, with more share purchase invoices in his hand ………mum told me not to take up “door security”. Why is it I never get Van Goddess? its always him and he’s always angry .
J P Spaghetti
The effigy is to remind those charged with admission to LSE GMs to refuse entry to anyone with any present or past connection to anything associated with three limbs (this unfortunately includes the entire population of the IOM, and collateral damage is unfortunate, but the flip side is that it also includes Rolf Harris). No excuse should be considered too lame in the pursuit of this.