This marriage of two AIM-sewer-listed companies gets dumber and dumber by the day.

There was I trying to get an early night's sleep and who should call, blissfully unaware that I was on Greek time. It was Stefan Oliver of MX Oil (MXO) concerned that the morons had told him that I had said that it was trying to get a £4 million placing away at 0.1p. Of course I had said nothing of the sort but Stefan went on the record to clarify the position.

For reasons that I have explained in full I really do thing there is more chance of me getting to shag Cheryl Cole this weekend than there is of Andalas Energy (ADL) ever being a cash generative beastie. But on the remote chance that Andalas does start to generate cash who do you think will benefit?. This will shock you.

The boy Moore is actually on holiday while I am at my keyboard so I shall do the crowing for him as his words of warning on uber-dog Starcom (STAR) came good with a keep the lights on placing at no-one is watching O'Clock (3.54 PM) the day before the Easter break.

POS Aim casino poster boy Mosman Oil & Gas (MSMN) has today put out the most ridiculous and desperate operational update in an attempt to spoof mug punters to buy the shares. For the fact is that Mosman is almost out of cash – though it won’t admit it – and needs a bailout soon.

At the weekend I asked the FCA to investigate me for market abuse regarding Quindell as I reported here. Well what has happened so far?

In 2014 Quindell (QPP) will book revenue of £228 million (28% of group sales) from Industrial Deafness claims where it will generate not a cent of cash. Those revenues are based on the estimates provided by Mr 2+2 Can =5 Rob Terry and his fellow directors and will ensure Quindell hits EPS forecasts. But anyone looking at this industry must recognise that Terry is bullshitting. Here’s why. Meet The Hearing Clinic.