Who said that for a small cap broker “delisting is inevitable. All are struggling to survive in a climate of scarce deals, low trading volumes, strong competition and rising costs” Okay it is a trick question but the answer is Andrew Monk of VSA Capital (VSA). The trick is that …

RentGuarantor Holdings PLC provides a rent guarantee service to tenants wishing to rent property in the UK from the Private Rental Sector. The rent guarantee service is an online service where applications can be managed on a secure and bespoke digital platform designed and built by RentGuarantor Holdings PLC So says the company but ahead of its 8 December listing on the lobster pot c/o Alfred Henry there is already a massive red flag fluttering. In fact there are a number.

I kid you not. Natch there is a very obviously related party stink, the valuation is a joke, the brokers behind it are scumbags and my friend Zak is a clown who doesn’t have a scooby about media and fintech M&A but do not let me put you off. This madness will at least be entertaining, if not rewarding for those daft enough to back it.

Eight Capital Partners (ECP) is blessed with having as its chairman Dominic White, one of the brains behind the Supply@ME Capital (SYME) fraud and until recently its chairman.It also has as its CEO David Bull whose accounting blunders have created a massive black hole at AIM Listed PCF (PCF) causing its shares to be suspended. Bull chairs the Audit Committee, no sniggering please, at Supply. And Eight is, via a complex structure enabling Supply boss Alessandro Zamboni to dump all his remaining shares in his Standard Listed scam. What’s not to like? Oh yes: Eight has fallen foul of the Companies Act.

British Honey Company (BHC) which makes honey but not money listed on the Aquis lobster pot at 110p on March 16 2020.  Amazingly the shares are now 114p but given the shenanigans of the past 18 months that is both unsustainable and ludicrous.

As African Potash (AFPO) this company was booted off the AIM Casino after its Nomad quid when discovering – thanks to me – that the company had told grotesque lies to get placings away, it had committed fraud. Chris Cleverley, cousin of leading Tory James who is no longer claiming he wants to buy West Ham, then took Potash to the Aquis lobster pot, changed its name to Block Commodities (BLCC) and carried on telling lies to investors for which the company was censured and fined, after I pointed this out to regulators. Could it get any worse? You bet.

David Lenigas is to ramptastic tweeting what Colin Bird is to pre placing pumps. He just cannot help himself. Today’s special is a picture of two men in late middle age standing in a tax haven shaking hands. Apparently this is very significant for Aquis lobster pot listed Valereum (VLRM), the crypto play pumped to 80p three months ago as the shameless chartist turned penny share stock promoter Zak Mir called it up to £2,  That helped it get away a £1 million placing at 70p. Its shares now trade at 29p but even that is still a staggering 20 times net assets for this loss making business. Maybe three men could shake hands tomorrow in some tax dodging location and that would be even more significant, eh Dave?

Fresh from its less than flattering role in the Tim Yeo/TMO Renewables trial, Andrew Monk’s VSA Resources has today announced its intention to float on the Aquis lobster pot which Monkey laughably predicts will be Europe’s Nasdaq. You may be tempted because the last accounts show that VSA had a cracking year to March 31 2021. But hang on? Wasn’t VSA once on AIM?

Last Christmas was saw the joke listing on Christmas Eve of Chinese jeweller Gamfook, which duly disappeared the following September as bills weren’t paid and accounts failed to appear. But you, dear reader, were warned. And so we have this year’s joke Christmas listing on the NEX lobster-pot…..

Even half way up a mountain in rural Greece, news reaches me that the spoof that is the Vox Markets NEX Lobster Pot IPO following the collapse of the merger with Align, looks to be devolving from the sublime into the ridiculous. NEX is a great place to list if you want to lie to investors but not if you are expecting any liquidity at all in your shares.

On 24 October 2018 the star of the NEX lobster pot, wine producer Chapel Down (CDGP) issued a formal update on what was a cracking 2018 harvest. Will 2019 be so good, er..

Gamfook was a Jersey Registered China play. That is always a good sign it was a fraud. It listed on the NEX lobster pot on Christmas Eve 2018 with Daniel Stewart, a firm with a fine history of floating frauds both British (Quindell) but also Chinese.  The tale of what happened next is a scandal.

Oh dear. Oh dear. That’s another fine mess you’ve got me into say unit holders in the Equity Income Fund (EIF) and shareholders in Woodford Patient Capital Trust (WPCT) today as hapless Neil reveals another £12.5 million black hole.

The NEX Lobster pot has new owners and comical David "100 billion barrels of oil" Lenigas has welcomed this on the grounds that the new bosses may ban short selling on the lobster pot. Natch this is total bollocks.

I start with a few words on The Guardian's obituary of Uncle Chris. I look at the deliberate spoof and placing at Mirriad (MIRI) answer your questions on Kefi (KEFI) look at the NEX lobster pot with its new owners and finally return to Anglo African Oil & Gas (AAOG) where a statement about THIS is needed ASAP

And he went out from thence, and came into his own country; and his disciples follow him. And when the sabbath day was come, he began to teach in the synagogue: and many hearing him were astonished, saying, From whence hath this man these things? and what wisdom is this which is given unto him, that even such mighty works are wrought by his hands? Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary, the brother of James, and Joses, and of Juda, and Simon? and are not his sisters here with us? And they were offended at him. But Jesus said unto them, A prophet is not without honour, but in his own country, and among his own kin, and in his own house. And this brings us to Big David Lenigas.

Eight days ago Neil Woodford’s PR spinners told their gophers in the lacky corrupt deadwood press, aka Peter Evans and Sabah Meddings of the Sunday Times to write a big puff piece about how Neil Woodford’ backed Proton Partners was planning to raise £50 million and list on the NEX lobster pot. It has not taken long for that fake news to be exposed, as no investors other than Woodford himself have been prepared to back this IPO – something revealed in the prospectus out today.

The Sunday Times “reveals” ( i.e. is told by Neil Woodford’s PR spinners) that his Proton Partners , proton beam centre operator, is planning a £320 million IPO and hoping to raise £50 million on, o-f all places, the NEX Lobster pot. This is a spoof but the deadwood press ( step forward Peter Evans and Sabah Meddings) are happy to assist the great one.

I start with a rant about Barclays (BARC) banksters and how much I despise and loathe them. I then discuss Anglo African Agriculture (AAAP) a Big Dave Lenigas lobster pot from which I escaped today. I move onto Andalas (ADL) and have a challenge for a sad geek with time on his hands, I nominate Drunken Sailor. I look at Xaar (XAR), Crawshaw (CRAW) and finally at Optibiotix (OPTI). I owe cynical bear a glass of ouzo but drank it myself on his behalf. Warning, this podcast contains bad language throughout.

This is not the bombshell revelation about a high profile AIM promoter I promise for today. That will be later. But just for fun....Have you read the new book by South African investigative journalist Jacques Pauw? "The President's Keepers." 

Well I never, it appears that the Worthington (WRN) Crew has indeed listed son of Worthington (WRN)or at least has filed an admission document. It looks as if Whetsone Capital  (WHET) shares will start to trade on the NEX Markets lobster pot on January 5th.

When African Potash (AFPO) goes bust and its boss lyin' Chris Cleverley has to look for another job he should have a crack at comedy. His release at no-one is watching O'Clock yesterday was pure genius.

Another day and another director walks, a new strategy is adopted and yet more confetti is issued by AIM casino uber dog Mayan Energy (MYN), formally the hound known as Northcote Energy. But this latest move just makes no sense at all. Let me explain with a little bit of help from a friend....

In its annual report published at no-one is watching O'Clock in the Christmas break, the FRAUD African Potash (AFPO) was forced to include a statement that it needed to raise £600,000 of fresh equity if it was to last 12 months. I should cocoa. The shares are now on the NEX lobster pot and the last trade was eight days ago. Illiquid or what. And as you can see the spread is now 2 one hundredths of a penny which is also the bid price. 

January 2017 was another month of shrinkage for AIM in terms of number of companies.The absolute number was down by a net 9 from 982 to 973 companies with 1 readmission and 10 departures including the fraud African Potash (AFPO) which was relegated, in disgrace, to the NEX Markets lobster pot.

The fraud African Potash (AFPO) has until 7 January ( saturday) to find a new Nomad or its shares get booted off the AIM casino first thing Monday. On the ISDX lobster pot (now known as the NEX lobster pot) it can't get a placing away - for reasons explained in this podcast - so it will be tits up within weeks. That has implications for Blenheim Natural Resources (BNR). Jamie Oliver is blaming Brexit as he shuts six of his over-priced branded eateries. But he is just another celeb tosser don't you think? I look at the real macro headwinds the UK faces. There is comment on Crawshaw (CRAW) and then a very detailed review of Lombard Risk Management (LRM) which is, I reckon a car crash in waiting.

African Potash stated in its annual report that on the ISDX (now called NEX) lobster pot it might be more difficult to raise money than on the AIM casino. I should cocoa. The last trade was on December 29. Liquidity is just nil and the 0.05p offer prize only applies if you want to sell peanuts amounts. If you invested in this fraud just accept that your shares are now worthless as it cannot get awaqy the £600,000 placing it dsays that it needs to survive. So Potash is going to go bust soon. But your cash might not be lost. There is a small chance.

The fraud African Potash (AFPO) now sees its shares trade on the ISDX lobster pot as it is still yet to find a replacement Nomad to act for it on the AIM Casino following the resignation of Cantor Fitzgerald. Not even Cairn Financial - which pro tem acts for the serial liars at Cloudtag (CTAG) - will act for lyin' Chris Cleverley. So on January 7 the relegation to ISDX will become permanent. The pledges of CEO Cleverley that he was optimistic of finding a new Nomad will be shown to be...er... lies. Quelle surprise. But it gets worse and will get even more worse on Christmas Eve.

Those who lost money on Teathers Financial (TEA) must have assumed that there would be no stockmarket comeback for those involved in incidents such as THIS and THIS as well as the complete wipeout for shareholders. No self respecting adviser would inflict another such creation on public markets would they. But we reckoned without London's worst Nomad, the tax averse Mr Roland "Fatty" Cornish.

After day six of the olive harvest I am shattered but it looks as if tomorrow may be the final day which means a late night at the press in Kambos, ouzo and no bearcast. You have been warned, the Sheriff may have the whole day off so tomorrow is a good day for shysters on the AIM casino to issue dodgy press releases. I take two reader requests. One is on Sirius Petroleum (SRSP) the other on my specialist subject - what is ISDX. In terms of companies I cover Cloudtag (CTAG), African Potash (FRAUD), RedT Energy (RED), Bilby (BILB). In the ISDX piece I mention Chapel Down and Mechan, we own shares in the latter.

Yesterday I pointed out that the FRAUD African Potash (AFPO) had applied to join the ISDX lobster pot as of December 8, the day its shares will be suspended on the AIM Casino if no Nomad is prepared to act for it, Cantor Fitzgerald having tired of signing off on its lies. I also pointed out that lyin' Chris Cleverley had failed to tell his shareholders. Today Potash fessed up..but it gets worse.

African Potash (AFPO) saw its Nomad Cantor Fitzgerald quit on September 7 and it is still yet to find a replacement who will sign off on its bogus and untruthful press releases. If no-one steps up to the plate by December 7 its shares are suspended and a month later they will be booted off AIM. African says it is confident it will find a replacement Nomad but just in case... the shysters have been busy.

You cannot keep a good stock promoter down. And say what you want about him , and I do, David Lenigas is pretty good at promoting, usually worthless, shares and he is back. In case you had not noticed he has rejoined the board of two of his former charges in the past week. I have today spoken by email with the big man.

With Leni Gas Cuba (CUBA) posting its half-year results and its scheme circular for its RTO with Knowlton on Friday, it is a good to time to reflect on what delights the Canadians have in store.

And now a presentation at UK Investor Show by Eddy Travia of ISDX lobster pot listed Coinsilium (COIN). Enjoy.

Naturally it would be un-Christian of me not to send my best wishes to Mr Yusuf Kajee one of the two tobacco smugglers who together with David Lenigas put together Afriag PLC (AFRI), a company Jabba listed on the AIM Casino but was forced to move to the ISDX lobster pot.

Jeepers this is a first. Whatever next, fascist PR bullies Citigate Dewe Rogerson apologising? Chris Oil fessing up to his porkies? David Lenigas has today tweeted out an admission that he has been lying to his moronic, and increasingly impoverished, followers.

Oh dear. To have one POS turfed off the AIM Casino might be considered unfortuaate but to have two booted off and forced to flee to the ISDX lobster pot looks like carelessness. And so after the tobacco smuggling business of Afriag (AFRI) departed, next up is Doriemus (DOR). Oh dear.

There has been a deafening silence from Afriag (AFRI) as its shares have moved from the AIM Casino to the ISDX lobster pot. It has repeatedly refused to comment on the problems its key players at its main operating subsidiary, Afriag SA, continues to face. Later today I shall publish documents I have obtained from South Africa which show exactly what those players get up to and as a hint...it is illegal. But for now I ask David Lenigas who is at best a keen promoter of this POS if not a shadow director, what his pal - and fellow despicable smearer of critics -  Yusuf Kajee is up to on March 17?

Another day and another dismal attempt by David Lenigas to ramp shares in ailing Lenigas Cuba (CUBA) on the ISDX lobster pot. Hmmm. Lenigas tells us that ISDX - not AIM - is where the liquidity is so how come not one fucking share has traded in this company since 18 February with not one share traded after this latest ramp and with the shares (listed at 5p) stuck at 0.5p to sell just 3 months later? Answer please Mr Lenigas? And so to today's ramptastic bollocks from Jabba The Hutt.

Shameless liar, share ramper and owner of a 100 foot yacht in the Monaco tax haven where he lives, David Lenigas has persistently spun the canard that ISDX is a more liquid market than AIM. We all know this is a lie. Investors in Lenigas Cuba know this is a lie. And tomorrow when Afriag (AFRI) leaves the AIM Casino and trades only on ISDX, its victims ( oops I meant shareholders) will discover that Lenigas is lying. Folks - you have just a few hours to sell - look at the spread!

At 5.44 PM yesterday Afriag (AFRI) put out the news we sort of expected but now it's official - the shares are uninvestable and must be sold before 23rd February or you will be stuck in the lobster pot.

Hat Tip to reader "Inspector" for this point on the car crash IPO of the year 2015 Lenigas Cuba (CUBA) and its latest (failed) attempt to ramp the share price. On 9th February, Jabba The Hutt published the following update on his company's investment in Petro Australis:

When announcing that it was to quit AIM and go to the ISDX lobster pot David Lenigas creation Afriag (AFRI) served up all sorts of horseshit to justify the move (see HERE). But it was horeshit (should that be horseshit or is horeshit more appropriate?) and the real reason is...

Oh dear, poor little market abuser Chris Oil - it seems that the AIM listing of his latest disaster Mkango Resources is running into a spot of bother. I pointed out here that without a fund raise the company would be BUST as soon as it listed. It seems that the news is now getting worse.

Market abuser Chris Oil seems attracted to lobster pot stockmarket disasters in the way that I am drawn to Cheryl Cole. It is fascinating to watch car crash after car crash for the little twerp. Following on from Sefton (upping his stake to 13%) just before delisting, Lenigas Cuba (CUBA) – nuff said – now we have Mkango Resources. This train wreck hits AIM on December 2^nd.

I have already demonstrated that the two “acquisitions” made by Lenigas Cuba (CUBA) post its car crash IPO on the ISDX lobster pot were er…not quite as fantastic as the PR puffery from fat aussie share ramper David Lenigas. Now let’s turn our attention to his partnership with Rushmans which was announced pre IPO. Hmmmmm.

Disgraced International Mining & Infrastructure (IMIC) has today announced that it has managed to raise more cash ($22 million) by issuing yet more bonds. The answer to debt is not more debt, especially when you are not generating any cash. But when in a hole…just dig deeper.

Welcome to the lobster pot that is ISDX. The screen shot below taken at close of play yesterday tells it all abut the car crash that is the Lenigas Cuba (CUBA) IPO.

I hope you had your beer and popcorn ready for the IPO of Lenigas Cuba (CUBA) at 5p because the spread on the shares right now is 1p-1.75p and it gets worse. The “size” is 25,000 to 50,000 which means that you can sell in parcels with a maximum value of £500. If you invested £500,000 at 2p like market abuser Chris Oil did back in July its going to take a long time and a lot of phone calls to get, some of, mummy’s money back.