Getafix is still on holiday and has sent us back another snap for our amusement. But before we go to today's caption contest there was a clear winner yesterday

Yes that is tomorrow! Normally we publish our hot share tip of the month on a Friday afternoon. But this month we cannot wait. We worry that, really low risk, big s will be missed out if we delay. And so we are not hanging around and will publish at 8.30 AM tomorrow. To make sure you catch that share tip sign up for as little as £5 join us NOW HERE

Are you listening Jon Bellis at Belfort Securities? You know your form is acting for fraudsters and shite companies yet you are happy for Belfort to keep banking the retainers. This is morally wrong. How do you sleep at night? In this podcast I discuss four stocks that are each worth 0p: Jiasen (FRAUD) - broker Belfort Securities, Servision (SEV) - where are your crooked accounts? Broker Belfort Securities, China New Energy (CNEL) a fraud, broker the disgraced Daniel Stewart and PCG Entertainment (PCGE) another China Norfolk, broker Belfort Securities.

Previously reviewing long-time purveyor of jam tomorrow (sorry, of X-ray screening systems to the security and industrial inspection markets), Image Scan Holdings (IGE) I concluded that it was looking more likely that the company can avert a cash crunch ahoy and move into profit and cash generation but that I awaited more evidence. The following updates post an announcement of “the single largest portable X-ray order ever received by Image Scan”…

Investing in foreign stocks usually brings with it a greater exposure to risk. That risk can come in a variety of forms: fraud, legal and political problems, and even war. But I would wager that few investors in Ukrproduct (UKR), the Ukrainian dairy producer, ever thought it was possible that a war would light up on their doorstep and damage the prospects of their harmless butter and cheese manufacturer.

You cannot keep a good stock promoter down. And say what you want about him , and I do, David Lenigas is pretty good at promoting, usually worthless, shares and he is back. In case you had not noticed he has rejoined the board of two of his former charges in the past week. I have today spoken by email with the big man.

Post its shares having been hit hard in the post UK EU referendum fallout, technology-focused recruitment and offshore services group, Harvey Nash (HVN) has emphasised that it is “encouraged” by performance in the first four months of its financial year. But what now?

I pointed out at the weekend why cash guzzling, dodgy accounting, jam tomorrow, RNS misleading, worthless piece of Turkish Servision (SEV) may have a few issues with its results. But where are those results for calendar 2015?

The race to see which of the twenty remaining ShareProphets AIM China Filthy Forty companies clocks up a suspension/delisting is hotting up as we enter the final furlong. Yesterday saw the loose horse of Grand Group (GIPO) – a non filthy forty runner but an otherwise well qualified AIM-China play nonetheless – cross the line first with a suspension as it can’t get its accounts out on time. But with a surprise late run GTS Chemical (GTS) now looks clear of the field as they head for the line after announcing plans to delist in August, subject to the forgone conclusion of a vote at its AGM.

I kid you not: this company has been on the Casino since joining in June 2010 as an investment company with assets of about £3 million and has never invested a cent. Yesterday, ShareProphets AIM-China Filthy Forty company Northwest Investment Group (NWIG) released results for calendar FY15: it still hasn’t invested a cent. But the money is disappearing.

I have not taken a view on Westminster Group (WSG) to date but it has done itself no favours at all with news today that it has appointed as its new NED, Tony Baldry, the Tory MP for Banbury until 2015 and a vile pig who demonstrates everything that is so repellent about the political establishment.

Writing earlier this month, I remained optimistic on both of my share tips of the year. Post recent developments and amidst current market volatility, I now update…

And so the ShareProphets AIM-China Filthy Forty is to be reduced by yet another company to just nineteen as GTS Chemical (GTS) has decided to up sticks in the best interests of its shareholders. For some reason this, apparently, serves as a perfectly valid reason for the company to bin the full year dividend which had previously been earmarked for an increase.

Old Getafix feels that he needs a break and so, cashing in a few of his dividend cheques, he has ,left us for a week but is sending back pictures every day for the Malcolm Stacey daily caption contest. Simply post your entries in the comments section below with a deadline of midnight. I shall start the ball rolling with this entry:

This morning ShareProphets AIM-China Filthy Forty play Aquatic Foods Group (AFG) released its calendar FY15 results. This is a complete farce and AIM Regulation should be ashamed, for that is where the real scandal lies.

Long-time cash burning machine (sorry, “technology developer and digital wellness pioneer”), Fitbug Holdings (FITB) “is pleased to announce a proposed equity fundraising… and loan capitalisation”. Hmmm…

I warned you time and time and time again not to buy shares in Nyota Minerals (NYO) just because Richard "Piggy" Chase and his fellow boardroom porkers had been given the order of the boot. But of course some Bulletin Board Morons knew better than "a failed pizza boy" and paid up to 0.17p. The shares are now just 0.05p to sell and I have more bad news.

Fifteen years ago today my daughter was born weighing just 1lb 4 oz. Jim Mellon still has the photos on the old t1ps server but for some reason his organisation refused to send them back despite repeated requests. Miserable bastrads the lot of them. Anyhow this bearcast is dedicated to that miracle baby, my daughter. On the agenda, the numerous AIM suspensions today, including the FRAUD Environmental Recycling (ENRT) which is now on a double suspension, plus Fitbug (FITB) and a detailed look at CloudTag (CTAG) and the strange nutjobs ramping the shares which are a storming sell.

We have had nothing but good news from Bluebird Merchant Ventures (BMV) since its IPO yet the shares have fallen. But we know why and we tell you now you must buy.

Following Sunday's exclusive news here about an Optibiotix product to help us lose weight being trialled out on Amazon I am asked if that means that the deal with Slimfast, the multi billion dollar slimming drinks company is off? No. It is not. I emailed CEO Steve O'Hara who said: