Hello Share Pippers. The chain store firm of Dunelm Group (DNLM) has produced some jolly good figures. They are in line with other reports that consumer spending is actually up since the Brexit vote. So all those gloomy folk who predicted hard times ahead after our decision to divorce from Europe are wrong.

K3 Business Technology (KBT) has announced results for its year ended 30^thJune 2016 and we’ve had a chat with management. The shares are ahead on the news to 343-352p. Not bad given we tipped this at a 149p offer

Pornography, naked women, sheep shagging Taffs. Actually there is nothing of the sort in this bearcast but I mention it just to annoy Kay Larsen,a prudish and stupid PR spinner for Sepura (SEPU). Kay is a really silly cow and we have crossed swords before so I rub her nose in it with her client whose statement today is a scandal. The rozzers really need to have a butchers. Then I cover Modern Water (MWG), Falcon Oil & Gas (FOG) and a trio of uber dogs with uber fleas: Blur (BLUR), Inspirit (INSP) and related party Octagonal (OCT). Then I look at Phil Edmonds creation Sable (SBLM) which is now a month away from AIM casino death. Its sister company is the fraud African Potash (AFPO) and I cover this matter in detail. It looks as if the Mrs will give birth tomorrow so if I take a break and you miss me either listen to the archive HERE or google "tourettes audio" and find something similar. Warning: this podcast contains some very bad language especially for the prude Kay Larsen.

I’ve written on this website in gushing terms on the disruptive business model being operated by The Gym (GYM). However, I mentioned before that it has “one larger competitor”. That competitor is floating on the LSE and so it is perhaps not surprising to see The Gym shares slipping on the announcement.

After 4th April 2016, “adjusted EBITDA lower than expectations… possibility of covenant breaches”, 27th April; “short term cash constraints… ongoing discussions with stakeholders regarding liquidity and capital structure” and 27th June “management actions taken to revise business model - impacting FY17 financial performance”, a now 12pm “Trading update” announcement from Sepura (SEPU). Uh-oh…

First the bad news from Minoan (MIN) - a profits warning on the Travel & Leisure side. What is shocking here is the speed at which things have gone awry. Bear in mind that half year numbers were released on 14 July. So in that vein the company states well under two months later:

Surprise, surprise, Clear Leisure (CLP) announced a placing this morning at 0.9p following a rampfest from the time it announced its Operational Update on Monday morning. All involved should hang their heads in shame. Let’s look at the textbook P&D in closer detail.

Advanced Oncotherapy (AVO) announced its interim results on 22nd September 2015 and so you would expect that it will be publishing numbers for 2016 within the next week or so. The main question is whether it will be accompanied by a desperately needed placing of at last £35 million? But as we await that I wonder if the company would care to update us all on the true state of its UK sales pipeline. Telling the truth is not too much to ask is it?

Construction and engineering industries consultancy group Driver (DRV) “is pleased” to confirm a return to profit during the second half of its year ending 30th September on turnover expected to be roughly 7% ahead of that recorded at the interim stage. The following though reviews, with the shares currently more than 11.5% lower, at 42p...

Following the example set by Paul Warwick the chairman of worthless penny stock Andalas (ADL) in starting a blog, Sir Benjamin Dover of AIM listed Global Mining Endeavours has decided to follow suit and like Paul promises to be Candid in his approach. Blog number thirteen...

Shares in EU Supply (EUSP) are again on the rise – currently more than 8.5% higher at 11.125p – on the back of a “Renewal of agreements” announcement. Let’s take a look…

Hello Share Scorchers. My family is addicted to Primark stores. They will travel 60 miles just to go to our nearest one in Swansea. But it’s not my favourite shopping experience because its establishments are usually absolutely chocker with buyers. Not that Primark is not well equipped to serve them well, with a workforce of 60,000 across 300 stores in 11 countries. You didn’t think it was that big, did you?

Having slid back towards 12p following a June announcement of results for its year ended 31st March 2016, shares in oilfield services technology and equipment supplier, Enteq Upstream (NTQ) are currently steady at 16p on the back of an “AGM Statement” announcement, which includes an update on current conditions in the industry…

The good news is that a 1.5 million share overhang in Optibiotix (OPTI) has now been cleared. So the shares should soar on good news. The bad news is that we have to wait a bit longer for that good news... Instead we get an RNS that was never going to set the share price on fire. Optibiotix has announced the results of a survey of customers of its GoFigure slimming shakes and bars. 30 lard buckets took part in the survey.

Still no news on Tom Jnr but I shall keep you posted. Actually the Mrs has banned the name Tom and is on a bit of a roll for cot related reasons. On the markets I look at Avanti Communications (AVN), Ocado (OCDO) and in detail Corero (CNS) and Tyratech (TYR) and cannot resist a smug mention of Wishbone Gold (WSBN) after my weekend comment HERE.

In my preview of Ocado’s Q3 trading statement, I suggested that the market cap was probably just too big. The statement released this morning is a win for the shorters as the shares retreat 14% to 276p.

I am warned that this note is only meant to be seen by institutional clients of Ambrian not for peasants like you so no doubt some fascist fucktard of a compliance office will force me to remove it in due course. So feel free to download it and share with everyone you know just to piss off the City jobsworths. We own shares in Kefi (KEFI) so naturally I am biased. Ambrian acts for Kefi so it is biased too. With those big caveats, this is a good note IMHO.

Tern (TERN) is very excited about Device Authority which it values at £7,144,288 which represents over 98% of the net assets of the company. So Tern’s credibility when valuing investments is important. So let’s have a look at its historic track record.

Goals Soccer Centres (GOAL) has announced results for the first half of 2016, emphasising “recovery well underway”. The following updates with the shares currently unchanged at 108.5p on the announcement…

So far all the rats remain on board the stinking ship of fools and fraudsters that is African Potash (AFPO). But one rat is going to jump at some stage as either the authorities prepare to swoop or the company finally runs out of other people's money. We asked who would be first to go and you said: