The roll call of shame on today's RNS from Stellar Diamonds: Nomad Cairn Financial (Emma Earl, that name rings a bell), Broker Beaufort Securities (Jon Bellis), joint broker Peterhouse Corporate Finance (Martin Lampshire), Financial Advisers Mirabaud (Rory Scott), Pr St Brides ( Lottie Brocklehurst). The headline is "709 Carat Diamond Discovered in Sierra Leone." Fuck me: where do I buy Stellar shares? These guys have just discovered the 13th biggest diamond in the country's history. Fuck me again - where is my fucking stockbroker? Oh er hang on...

Self-described “pioneer in materials innovation and solid-state battery technology”, Ilika (IKA) has followed recent “Toyota Funds Collaboration with Ilika” and “Collaboration with Galvani Bioelectronics” announcements with a “Trading update” commencing with that such deals “are resulting in a strong ramp-up of revenue relative to 2015/16”. Good, good… You what? The shares currently down circa 15%, approaching 40p?!?...

Having helped steer Beacon Hill Resources (BHR) onto the rocks and signing off on the infamous hairdresser share trade I am delighted to see that loathsome Murray D'Almeida was now come a cropper a second time on AIM, leaving the board of Management Resources Solutions (MRS) with immediate effect today. He jumped before he was pushed. But hang on, all is not what it seems.

Petropavlovsk (POG) has updated on its pressure oxidation hub development, with construction activities having fully resumed following bank debt refinancing.

I never thought I’d be saying this, but it is hats off the to the board which looks to have saved the company. This morning AIM-listed Igas Energy (IGAS) updated on its rescue refinancing and it looks to be a done deal. Shareholders will be feeling the pain, but as we have continually warned as the share price declined this was an inevitable consequence of the financial predicament in which the company found itself, the legacy of the Andrew “Piggy” Austin era. 

A couple of days ago I noted how the London South East Bulletin Board ( aka the LSE Asylum) appeared to be heading towards insolvency - HERE. It is the fate which, almost, invariably happens to companies that hire Zak, the Sith Lord, Mir. For Judas is also Jonah. And now a closer examination of its historic numbers shows that the crisis may be far worse than even we thought. Timber!!!!!

This is not the fault of Crown Ocean but of the bastards who have been grossly overpaid for destroying value at Bowleven (BLVN) - the team let by piggy in chief Kevin Hart. As I reported yesterday, disgraced CEO Hart may have been booted off the board by shareholders but he remains as CEO and is still running the company on full ( unjustifiable) pay. This is because Crown has 2 directors but the old regime still has two men on the board and the casting vote with chairman Mr Allan. Thus there is no change of personnel at Bowleven or of strategy. This really is a disgraceful way for directors to treat the folks who own the company - shareholders.

Having been cc'd in on a list of shareholders in the AIM listed ( pro tem) fraud Cloudtag (CTAG) leaked in breach of Data Protection laws by the company itself, I could not resist sending them an email pointing them to some high quality covrerage of the stock. I received a few replies. Here is the best of the bunch. I wonder if this clown, a Mr John Simpson,  thinks this will help him get his cash back and if his wife and employer knows that he spends his days sending such emails. I have to feel sorry for the chap who obviously deeply troubled.

Having recently noted a £2.4 million repayment due to Royal Bank of Scotland on 31st March (Hayward Tyler – announces “new order wins”, but attempted bailout financing dump ahoy?), I now note a further announcement from Hayward Tyler Group (HAYT); “Bank facility update and new order win”...

Hello Share Thumpers. I’ve been spending a lot on shares in recent days. The reason is that I’ve not topped up my ISA and, as the financial year is fast disappearing towards a new horizon, I have been selling a few turkeys in my ordinary trading accounts to fund my tax-protected ISA.

“Seeing Machines (SEE), the AIM listed technology company with a focus on operator monitoring and intervention sensing technologies and services is pleased to announce its unaudited financial results for the six months to 31 December 2016” and CEO Ken Kroeger is “pleased with the progress towards the achievement of our long-term goals as our multi-sector strategy continues to gain momentum”. Good, good… er, what? The shares currently more than 15% lower in response?!?...

This morning AIM , for now listed, fraud Cloudtag (CTAG) had an announcement which was comical and is torn to shreds by me HERE. But it gets better, it sent an alert to all those folks who had registered with it to receive alerts. Then panic stations....

Coal of Africa (CZA) has suspended its COO Mr Michael Jakobus Bronn after noting the judgement and fine against him for " the contravention of the Section 78 (1) (a) of the Financial Markets Act, 19 of 2012." Coal says that it is " in the process of reviewing the FSB findings, the details of which have been made public on 15 March 2017. The Company has placed Mr Brönn on suspension whilst the Company completes its internal review process." So what is Section 78? Let me enlighten you.

I find myself back in London ahead of a big event tonight as I explain HERE. So I am working at the pizza place now known as Wedge Issue and run by hipster Pizza Hardman Darren Atwater. It is most excellent and I commend it to you all if you are in Clerkenwell, although I am not sure I get this hipster business at all. I'm getting old. In the main podcast I look at why the LSE Asylum just does not work. In terms of stocks I cover Independent Resources (IRG), Nyota (NYO), FastForward (FFWD),Challenger (CHAL), the joke regulation one sees on the Standard List, Regency Mines (RGM) and some coal assets some folks think will go into the joke that is "New Worthington". 

In 11 days time if no Nomad is prepared to act for the fraud Cloudtag (CTAG), that is to say to sign off on the lies it likes to tell investors, its shares - now suspended - will be booted off AIM. Unable to raise cash it will go bust. Just to placate the fools who ignored countless warnings and are trapped in this stock and to amuse the rest of us it has today made an announcement. It is horeshite natch and I offer a translation service in bold.

ShareProphets AIM-China Filthy Forty play China New Energy (CNEL) updated the market on trading for FY2016. The company reported a profit at the interim stage and continued to perform well in the second half of 2016 with revenue (subject to audit) expected to be up to about RMB 72 million. There are also contracts announced totalling about RMB 80 million expected to see project completion in Q3 of this year. So all is going swimmingly – except that the company has raised more money. Clearly the profits are not turning into cash. Why?

You and I had thought that Kevin Hart the grossly overpaid and underperforming CEO of Bowleven (BLVN) had cleaned his desk and gone after Tuesday's GM vote to sack the useless pig. Think again. He is still CEO and still on full pay and still running the company. This is like debating the Brexit referendum with that silly cow Gina Miller. A company is owned by its shareholders. The shareholders have voted to get rid, like we voted to quit the EU...but the bastard hangs on and Gina tries to subvert democracy.

Following my recommendation on Red Leopard earlier this month, I thought I’d follow up with a compare and contrast of Akers related stocks looking at the different phases of the investment lifecycle and how to make money at those different stages.

To observers of financial markets it must seem odd that they often behave exactly the opposite to what is expected. Explaining it is also a strange thing too.

Saffron Energy (SRON) has announced the extension of the natural gas offtake contract between its Italian subsidiary Northsun and Shell. The contract has been extended to 1 October 2018, with an option to extend for a further year to 1 October 2019, and provides for offtake of gas supply for all of the Group's Italian gas fields.