An 8:11am (why?) announcement of results for its year ended 30th September 2017 from X-ray screening systems company Image Scan Holdings (IGE) - and the shares currently a further more than 10% lower towards 8p…

Today's internet delivery for my neighbours which I have taken in is an industrial scale amount of loo paper. That tells you something about the Hammerson (HMSO ) deal which I comment on and also relay the thoughts of Nick Leslau. I ask questions about what has happened to Jim Mellon's Life Science Developments (LDC), look at Saga (SAGA)rare honesty in the resources sector from waste of space Spitfire Oil (SRO) and predictable behaviour at jam tomorrow outfit Tertiary Minerals (TYM)

Half-year results from systems integrator and managed services provider, Maintel (MAI) included “gross margin is expected to recover in the second half of the year following recent contract wins at an improved gross margin percentage”. There’s now a Trading Update from the company commencing that its “ICON cloud services have continued to grow strongly in the second half of 2017”. Sounds encouraging, but what about that margin?

UK Oil & Gas (UKOG) has announced that another £500,000 of death spiral loan has been converted into shares, 14,159,092 of them. But hang on, this does not add up. UK Oil & Gas and its patsy Nomad WH Ireland (WHI) are not telling you something.

My old friend Jim Mellon claims to be worth £800 million although I rather doubt that (by a long chalk). But he is certainly worth a bob or two and that brings us to news today that he has bought 50,000 shares in Condor Gold (CNR) at 39.5p. I say Spoooooooooooooooooooooooooooof - placing ahoy!

Having noted on a potential Reach4Entertainment (R4E) placing last week that we understand that there has been strong demand at 1.5p per share and that we’re looking at £5 million at least being raised, the company has now announced a, conditional on General Meeting approval, £5.5 million placing at 1.5p…

Big news today from the shysters at Green Dragon Gas (GDG) but does it change anything? Over to the City's No 1 oil analyst Zak "the Knife" Phillips at SP Angel who does not hold back:

Oh well, apparently he is a very astute businessman. But as for his other half...  As a diehard Brexiteer I have to question at least one aspect of Neil Davidson's judgement, his better ( well sort of) half in action below - the bit where Nigel Farage duffs her up on ship building is especially good. But I still think the shares are very cheap! None the less I must now acceptr that the chair of our biggest single investment is sleeping with the enemy.

The great Sam is clear. The job of a fraudster is to steal as much money as possible. So rule one is never do anything which distracts you from theft. Rule two is to ignore your critics completely. Firstly because attacking them breaks rule one, it leaves less time for stealing and secondly because it only goads the critics and gives them the oxygen of publicity. That brings us to James Longley of Plutus Powergen (PPG), Fandango Holdings (FHP), Papillion Holdings (PPHP) and Stranger Holdings (STHP) who is a liar, fraudster and thief.

Almost everyone - apart from some cheapskate standouts or those lucky enough to have a next-generation home cinema capability - likes going to the cinema. In the wider scheme of things it is fun, inclusive and compared to many other trips out it does not completely trash the bank account (although the cost of a small plastic bottle of my favourite soda tipple Dr Pepper Zero was ludicrously expensive when I was stupid enough to buy one there). I have never owned Cineworld (CINE) but I have admired its progressive upgrades and solid management of my recent cinema and helped out by some half-decent blockbusters it has built up a solid position here and across various eastern European geographies. Cash generative, paid a dividend, growing market share...no wonder the share tripled between early 2013 and the middle part of this year. The recent share price chart has not been so hot though.

Hello Share Crumblers. When Ashtead (AHT) rose to 1700p, I thought enough was enough. I sold because I could not see Big Donald’s infrastructure plans coming to much. Ashtead, you’ll recall, is big in the construction industry in the USA. But the share is now tickling the 2000p mark. So a mistake there. Except that it’s never wrong to take a profit. And in this case it was, for me, at least a 10 bagger. But Ashtead is not the only company which hires out tools and plant to builders. Which brings me to today’s commendation.

I hope you enjoyed the two share tips earlier and thanks for the kind words from many of you abour our place in Greece. I start with a look at Strat Aero (AERO). I covered the dire maths earlier here but it is the sheer dishonesty of the placing that really annoys me. Then I look at more bad news for Nomates Woodford from Provident Financial (PFG) which cvould well up a zero. Then I cover UK Oil & Gas (UKOG) as its shares slide again and Arian Silver (AGQ) which is worthless. Adam Reynolds was not - as gleeful in house BB loon Wildes suggests - fired by Optibiotix (OPTI) - I explain why I remain uber bullish there. Finally today's interims from Vianet (VNET) are misleading and even after a 10% fall today the stock is a slam dunk sell.

Previously writing on Van Elle Holdings (VANL) last month it was as it updates on trading & CEO to step down as responds to General Meeting requisition. The latter is from its founder seeking to return – and he has since detailed why, with the company now further responding…

Marcus does not seem to like Brexit so has a go at our great hero Tim Martin of JD Wetherspoon (JDW) today. My comments below each of the two sentences from nasty Marcus are in bold.

Want to lose all your money? Normally crowdfunding poltroons CrowdforAngels try to get you to invest in shite companies as we noted HERE. But why stick with the old ways of losing all your dosh. Get with it. This is 2017. CrowdforAngels has written to me..

Shares in AIM-listed Tern (TERN) seem to have stabilised after the bloodbath of last week, at 2.875p in the middle – having started last week at 4.5p and only in mid-August having completed a hugely discounted placing via Primary Bid at 6.6p. Ouch. This is all in response to the RNS last week announcing that it had signed up for death spiral funding. Yesterday, at 11am, Tern announced that was to issue 800,000 shares from the exercise of a warrant at 3p, and Alliance News picked up the story that Tern Issues New Shares Above Current Share Price To Settle Warrants. Don’t be fooled….

I was originally meant to present this at an evening organised by brokers Turner Pope. But the compliance officer kicked off in an episode which fills me with despair so Turner Pope said put the video up on ShareProphets and we will give your speaker fee to Woodlarks anyway as it is a good cause. Good chaps. Seriously, TP get to do some good placings, notably of late Sosandar (SOS) where it was almost impossible to get stock anywhere else, So you should have an account with them just in case - you can call them on 0203 621 4121 to get the forms.  Now to the video...enjoy.

HaloSource (HALO) has announced that “its patented, best-in-class HaloPure disinfection technology is being utilised to power a line of purifying pitchers sold in retail outlets across South Africa by H20 International… Marks the first sale of HaloPure-powered devices on the African continent” - and the shares have currently responded more than 15% higher towards 2p. Ramptastic!...

As you know, the folks round at the Financial Reporting Council are the one watchdog that is prepared to bare its teeth when it comes to wrongdoing on the AIM Casino and are also good pals of mine, truly appreciative of my work. And thus I have written to them about the holocuast denying fraudsters at MySquar (MYSQ) requesting that it launch a formal investigation into how it cooks its books. 

Cometh the day cometh the broker who will raise cash for any old shite even if it is bust both before and not long after the exercise, as long as it can hand stock at a huge discount to its mates so they can flip and earn lots of lovely jubbly commission as well. Peterhouse Corporate Finance meet Strat Aero (AERO).